I experienced a little bit of a fit last week when my wee bit of a boy (sorry, I'm reading Angela's Ashes and my Irish is spilling out uncontrollably -- it's in the blood, people) came home with homework for the first time. It occurred again yesterday, this time with the letter "T," so it is safe to assume this is a weekly thing now. I had my fit and we're moving on.
But now there's more. Tomorrow afternoon, my son will have something new in his book bag:
His report card.
A report card! For what?! This is kindergarten! And not even that -- this is transitional kindergarten! I think my fit is escalating a bit. And perhaps, too, I'm making too big of a deal out of this. But still ... does my son really need to grow up this quickly? Does he really need to know that what he's doing every day is being judged and evaluated, to some extent? What if he figures out that what he thinks as pure fun each day is actually being measured against some unseen stick -- how will that make him feel? Will it make him start to wonder if he can measure up? Second-guess himself? That his work might not be as good as Fellow Classmate Boy or Girl?
OK, maybe I am making the proverbial mountain out of that danged mole-hill. Maybe I'm starting to re-live a lot of my own anxieties during my childhood school days. I was an A student, with the occasional B thrown in for the sake of humility (Geometry and Health class - blech blech), yet I still dreaded with ulcer-forming fear that day known as Report Card Day. I think this is bringing up a lot of my own fears about parenting and child-rearing. How will I react if tomorrow's report card is a difficult one to process? I think some mirror is being held up here, and I'm reluctant to spray the Windex.
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