Amazing Grace ... Again

I have now come to the point where, a few years ago, it was just an idea. A goal. Something that would happen ... someday ... in the far off future ... but there was way too much to deal with in the meantime to even think about that.

But now ... we're there.
Almost.

For the first time in four years, we were given permission to see that very small light at the end of the clubfoot tunnel.

My dad accompanied the kids and me on the long trek to the Commonwealth of Brotherly Love. I had my fears going on into it, but that's my job. I'm the mom, I'm the one with her eyes glued to that little foot day in and day out. I decided to go with my gut, to just sit back and not say anything ... let Dr. Wonder see what he's going to see.

The trip down was effortless (a big surprise!), and the wait was only about an hour and change (another big surprise!). Amazing. Grace found a little girl around her age -- bossy as "all get out," but Grace would just give her a look and say "no, thanks" to whatever she was being commanded to do. Aidan teamed up with the girl's older brother -- considerably older than Aidan, but when there's a DS involved, age simply does not matter. With the kids occupied, my dad read and dozed, and I finished my novel. Not a bad way to spend the morning.

We waited a bit longer in the exam room, but we're used to that. We made up games to play, while Grace flirted with the cute interns roaming the hallway. Gracious guys ... they flirted right back. And then came Dr. Wonder, full of smiles, full of hope.

Two words wrap up his summation: "extremely pleased." After a few tests and lots of stretches, the news was terrific. Her dorsiflexion charted in at 20 degrees, far higher than I had thought possible. Fear #1 eradicated -- her Achilles tendon is not tightening up. Her heel is placed exactly where it should be, her active (or voluntary) range of motion was good. Then, instead of having her walk on her heels as in visits past, he had her walk on her toes instead. That surprised me ... and alarmed her ever-protective big brother. "OH NO!" he exclaimed to the doctor. "She can't walk on her toes! That's not good for her foot!" He got a big smile from the doctor, and a reassurance from me that a minute or two on her toes won't hurt her one bit. This "new" test showed him that her Achilles strength is excellent -- something I wasn't expecting. He said that some clubfoot kids with a tight or weak tendon either can't walk on their toes well, or they have to bend their knees to get that momentum going. Not Grace ... strong as the proverbial ox.

We don't have to return for another six months, instead of the usual 3-month pilgrimage. The woman in Orthotics was a bit stunned by that news -- "Wow," she said. "Grace must be doing amazingly well. He doesn't let go of his kids easily." She was measured for a new Mitchell brace, and ... drum roll ... we can ditch the UCBL! She had outgrown it and we haven't been using it all, and clearly it hasn't made much of a difference. We talked a bit about her metatarsus adductus ("MA") which, to me, is rather pronounced. He did agree that it certainly is visible, but he pointed out a few things which I hadn't noticed before. When her foot is relaxed, its shape is absolutely perfect. You could never tell it was a clubfoot. When stands, however, the distributed weight sort of "flattens" her foot, as it should, and that's when you can see the curvature. However, he pointed out, it's really only obvious with her big toe. Sure enough -- that big toe points inward to 11:00, but the rest of the forefoot is actually quite straight. But because the big toe is so prominent, and because of the strange direction it's pointing, it looks a bit worse than it really is. When she walks, her gait is perfectly normal. I asked if there was a remedy for that and he said in bad cases, they will cut the muscle (ugh!) but Grace is nowhere near in need of that. In short, no worries.

And then came the big ringer, those words that we knew we would hear ... at some point ... some day ... a long, long time away ... Words that, today, were finally spoken; words that ushered in that first glimpse of faint light at the end of the clubfoot tunnel:

"When she reaches her 5th birthday," he said with a big smile, "she can stop wearing her brace."

When Grace was born, and when we first laid eyes on that tiny, twisted, unfortunate foot, one of my first conscious thoughts was, "I can't wait for the day when it's all over." When she screamed on the exam table, her tiny foot painfully wrenched outward and wrapped up in its first of many casts, my first thought was, "I can't wait until we are done with all of this." When we strapped on her first pair of heavy, hated shoes, my first thought was, "I can't wait until she never has to wear these things again." And today, for the first time, I heard that our wait is almost over. My breath caught; my eyes popped. I wasn't expecting that pronouncement at all. She can ... what? Stop? Stop?!

And yet, if there are any Clubfoot Moms reading this post, I know you're smiling ... for you know that any Clubfoot Mom who has come this far (and especially one who is dealing with a "difficult" case) will accept this kind of news with a mixed cocktail of joy and caution. You want to believe it; you want to believe that the problems are over. Yet when the news you so longed for finally comes ... you're hesitant to fully embrace it. The Ponseti school is now saying that "normal," easy clubfoot kids should end at 5 ... but Grace is now in the higher risk category because of her nasty relapse. That means she should probably wear the brace at least until she's 6. And yet ...

And yet. It's a year away. When Grace turns 5 then we'll make the decision. But right now I will revel in the good news, in her continued progress, in God's great care for my sweet little girl. And I will rejoice in that small, faint light now peeking around the corner ...

A Whirlwind of a Week ...

We've got quite the stacked calendar ahead of us for the next week ... or actually, the next two weeks. Busy, busy ...

- Tomorrow Grace, Aidan, possibly my dad, and myself will travel to PA for our visit with Dr. Wonder. It's been three months, and if this visit goes well we're hoping he'll stretch these check-ups to 4 month intervals, if not six. But ... we'll see. I'm not thrilled with her foot, but I don't think my concerns would be visible to anyone who wasn't staring so hawk-like at her feet as I do. She seems tight, yet her dorsiflexion (her flexibility, when I press the bottom of her forefoot upward) isn't too bad. I believe she has indeed lost a few degrees, but I don't think she's fallen into the scary "neutral" or "negative" categories. I had read recently that clubfoot kids who wear the brace diligently often walk with a slight "duck-foot" stance, feet pointing outward. Grace's feet are ramrod straight -- almost too straight for my comfort. Her MA (metatarsus adductus) seems a bit more pronounced than it was in the spring, and her big toe oddly points far more inward than anything else. I'm not sure if I should voice my concerns, or let his expert eye pick these things out ... or not.

- On Tuesday, Aidan turns 7!!! ... and starts school. There's some mixed feelings in that bag -- excited to start school, but unsure if it's a "good" thing to share it with his birthday. He's beyond thrilled, though, to go back. I'm going to miss my little guy, my companion. Oh, and I've been requested to bake cupcakes to share with the class as a birthday treat. Send my boy off to school, bake cupcakes, run them up to school later in the morning ... These kids had better do more than just lick the icing off the top!

- Later this week I will take Grace to visit her preschool, adjacent to Aidan's elementary school. The girl is a mystery to me -- I'm sure she'll be fine, but she's not your "typical" student. Will she break out in song and dance during a lesson on the Letter K? Will she start chattering away to her pencil while her teacher is reading a story? I have absolutely no expectations with her whatsoever, so each day will be some new discovery ... for all of us.

- Next week Grace starts school for the very first time in her life. I know some moms -- whether out of necessity due to job demands, or simply because they want free time -- start their young children in preschool at the age of 2 or 3, but Don and I made the conscious decision years ago that we would keep our kids home until they turned 4. And here we are already; my baby is now a preschooler! Prepare for lots of tears next week ... on my part ...

- On the very day Grace goes to school, Don has to catch a plane to the Deep South, where he will spend 5 days at some kind of trade show. Or not -- I have no idea what he does half the time. I haven't told Grace that Daddy won't be here to see her off. But then again, many Daddies don't get to see their kids leave for school. This house is going to be verrrrryyyy quiet that day ...

Quite a schedule! But I guess that's kind of what September is all about. Just jump right in the deep end and start swimming ...

A Future Bright (and Creative)

Last night, before bed, I sat on the couch in the middle of my two little ones -- sleepy and pajama-clad. I looked to my left and there was Grace ... nightgown on, a pink purse stuffed with treasures slung over her left arm, a small lamb clutched in her left hand, and a mini Magna-Doodle in her right hand. She was half-talking, half-singing, her arms waving -- about what, I have no idea. But she sure was having a good time.

I looked over to my right and there was Aidan, his Bible open on his lap, seriously studying the index, looking for just the right story. He was muttering the titles and page numbers, oh-so-studiously. He found the story he wanted -- page 212 -- and began looking for it.

I smiled. These kids are are pure wonders. "Grace," I said, "I think you're going to be an actress. And Aidan, I think you're going to be an engineer."

They both stopped what they were doing and looked at me incredulously. "Nah," said Aidan. "I want to be a baseball player."

"And I want to be a princess!" declared Grace.

So much for predictions. Sometimes I do step back and try to envision them as adults, what kinds of things will strike their little fancies, what paths they will take. But I don't linger in the future too long ... I have far too much to enjoy right here, right now.

Princess or Actress, Engineer or Baseball Player ... It really doesn't matter. They're priceless as they are.

Well, it was some kind of "Force" ...

OK, party update ... After a dark and dreary start to the morning, it turned out to be one of the most beautiful days of the summer. I woke up tired and rushed through the first part of the day in some kind of frantic fog. Last minute prep, the Open House for Aidan's school, blah blah blah ... I was a summer-skirted whirlwind.

In a nutshell, the party went very well. It was a lot of hard work -- way, way more challenging than I thought. Grace whined and cried the entire time -- it drove me up a wall. I rarely deal with more than three children at a time, so having a small congregation of them -- all jumpy and crazy and loud and jittery with excitement -- was a "Force" that pushed me to my personal limits (if not beyond).

There were, in fact, a few learning moments throughout the afternoon ...

Top 10 Things I Got Out of Yesterday's Party:

1. I was, once again, faced with the absolute affirmation that I am not, and never will be, supposed to be a teacher. An hour and a half of only 6 young children drove me to the medicine cabinet later that evening.

2. Don't ever think that your child won't throw a tantrum at his own party, just because he didn't pick the Blue Team tag out of Darth Vader's helmet.

3. Don't be fooled that kids know what they want. If they don't like the way you envisioned a game, they will tell you.

4. Don't ever buy another piñata. That super-cool Darth Vader head that hung so perfectly from our clothes-line was a huge waste of money. We figured 3 whacks per kids should do the trick. The Birthday Boy got to go first, of course, so with eyes covered and light saber in hand, he set to work. One ... two ... head splits open and candy flies all over the place. Soooo not worth the disappointment.

5. A homemade cake is just fine!

6. Heck, don't even bother with the cake part. Just stick the tub of icing on the table with a candle. That's all they want. I passed out plates of cake. I was given back plates of cake ... minus the icing on top.

7. I have the coolest husband in the world. See photos below. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Don had to email his colleagues, letting them know he'd be away from the phone for part of the afternoon. Of course, he told them why. He was immediately bombarded with a hundred responses from his awe-struck co-workers. I think he rose a few notches more in their estimation -- "this is one cool newbie!" Must be a techno-geek thing.

8. Minus the sporadic moments of aggravation, we did have a really great time.

9. I was reminded once again how much of a reward it is to see your child's eyes shining with sheer joy.

10. I don't know if I will ever do this again.

This was up Don's proverbial alley ... seriously. This was one Star Wars Soundtrack rockin' party!

Part of the obstacle course ... er, um, I mean the "Jedi Light Saber Training Course." After a quick poll, I was informed that this was one of the highlights.
Here we have Matias crawling through the Tunnel of Doom. He must then head toward those 2 little chairs and jump over the light saber that is laid between them. Then he goes to the shovel and steps on it, shooting the light saber up into the air and (hopefully) into his hands ...

... Annika demonstrates the next leg of the Course -- after catching the light saber, she then ran to the trampoline (not pictured), did a few jumps, and then had to come up with her own specialized "Jedi Jump" (or dismount), readying herself to battle Darth Vader.
With iPhone in hand, Vader and the Young Padawan clashed and battled, with seriously awesome sound effects ...

Phew. I'm tired just remembering all of this. The latter half of the "Jedi Academy" involved water games and relays ... always a big hit.

A highlight for my dear boy ... being surrounded by his friends. Seriously -- having great friends is a huge gift for him. When I asked him what he liked most about his party, he said one of the things that meant the most was having friends.

Worth it?

Absolutely.

But it's going to take me another week to recuperate.

This Will Be a Day To Remember!

Today is the Much-Anticipated Party Day ... and I have about 3-days' worth of stuff to do in the meantime! After a way-too-early start to the day (a soaked girl in a soaked bed ... again!?!?), I've been shuffling around the house, trying to organize my foggy thoughts. After lunch, and before the party, I have to whisk Aidan off to school for the Open House. In the midst of the Star Wars whirlwind, I also have to get his school stuff ready so he can claim his desk and get that set up. He's excited to meet his new teacher and see his friends again. We'll spend some time there, then rush back home to take care of the last-minute preparations before the kids come at 2:00. The cake, baked yesterday, is now iced and decorated with M&M's (baking is not my thing), and soon I'll go outside and start transforming our yard into the Jedi Training Academy.

Don is in charge of the music -- after downloading the Star Wars soundtrack, he's going to set up some kind of speaker system outside to amplify the special effects. This part was fun for us -- for example, do you remember the "Cantina" scene from the "original" Star Wars? Luke, just having lost his aunt and uncle, joined Obi Wan Kenobi and headed to the town of Mos Eisley in search of a pilot to whisk them away. Dorky Luke and Calm, Cool, and Collected (and oh-so-British!) Obi Wan walk into some kind of intergalactic space bar, where crazy looking creatures are having a grand old time. Remember the music? Fun, jazzy ... perfect for our game of "Musical Escape Pods" (or, er, um ... "musical chairs"). Aidan's favorite part is wrapped up in Don's iPhone ... light saber sound effects (with awesome music, of course). So while the Jedi Apprentice is making his or her way through the Light Saber Training Course (obstacle course, that is), they will meet up with Darth Vader ... that will be Don, dressed up in a fun costume, complete with light saber, heavy breathing, and sound effects. Yep ... fun stuff.

And my boy gave me a great gift yesterday ... As we sat together at the kitchen table, stringing ribbon through the gold medals that each kid will be awarded at the end (music from the Medal Ceremony at the end of the movie ... except I don't plan on dressing up like Princess Leia -- sorry), he could barely sit still, jittery with excitement. He chattered on and on how great this is, how excited he is. "I can't wait to play these games!" he exclaimed. "And I can't wait to get my presents!" But then he paused ... "But you know, Mommy, even though I'm excited about my presents, I know what's important is that I have good friends." Cue the hug ...

After a rainy evening, the sun is beginning to peek through the dark gray clouds ... the humidity is gone, and a cool breeze is filtering through the open windows. What a day this will be ...

My Friend Murphy Returns from Summer Vacation

Guess Ol' Murphy took a lengthy summer vacation ... we've been free 'n' easy for these past couple of months, with nary a prank in sight. Until I decided to risk hubris and take a bold step, that is ...

I haven't blogged about All Things Potty in quite some time, because ... well, there's nothing to the scoop anymore. She's trained, pure and simple. The last "accident" occurred in the very beginning of summer -- we're talking a good three months ago. She's in the clear.

Yet all this time, like Linus, I've held on to my security blanket ... still using Pull-Ups at night. Despite the fact that she's been dry throughout the nights as well for these past few months, she's also a deep sleeper, and I wasn't quite ready to give up on that little cushioned insurance policy. "But she doesn't need them anymore," my practical and wallet-conscious side keeps repeating. True, true ...

Last night, I decided to listen to that voice for the first time. I still have about a dozen bottom-covers left, and I thought now would be a good time to try flying without one. I had heard that some kids regress when they start school for the first time, whether it's behavioral or potty-wise, and so on. So I figured that we'll try undies for these next two weeks, she'll get the hang of it, and if there is some sort of problem when school starts, I still have plenty o' backup to get us through it. Makes sense ... right?

She was happy to wear her pink princess panties to bed, a "big girl" indeed. I reminded her a few times about peeing -- no problem. She peed twice before bedtime, and we were in the clear ...

"Mommy!" I heard, a faint calling coming from the bedroom this morning. Aidan had been awake since 6:15 a.m., but thankfully she slept in a bit longer. I went into her room and, since she's still brace-clad, I picked her up. "Do you have to pee?" I asked. "Yes," she replied. "Just a little bit."

I passed her off to Don, who helped her get settled on the toilet. She can't do any of that by herself when she's wearing the brace, so the morning ritual is a bit cumbersome. A few seconds later I heard the announcement ...

"Ugh, Sue ... she peed."

Then a sweet, little voice peeped out at me: "Yes, but just a little tiny bit."

Deep sleeper, indeed -- she slept through the whole thing. But why now? After months of blissful dryness, why do this now? I'm not sure what I'm going to do tonight ... try again? Wait?

Welcome back, Murphy. It's great to see you!

A Healing Step

Wow -- this has been quite a weekend in the spirit-lifting department ...

On Saturday, we met with friends for the first time in over two years -- friends from another life, our former church; friends who once served as "grandparents" to my kids and then as painful reminders of a (one of many) shattered dream ... I admit I was a bit hesitant in seeing them again, crossing that bridge from one life back into another -- another "life" that at times I wish I could forget. But then I had to remind myself -- it wasn't all bad; it wasn't all painful. We had many happy times those years ago at our church ... but sometimes, somehow, painful memories overshadow the happy ones. But in spite of that, we set out to meet them at a halfway point, not sure how it would all play out.

To make a long story short, the afternoon played out just beautifully. And what was important for me was that, not only did we just have fun talking and catching up (unfortunately spending three hours in Chuck E. Cheese, one of my personal levels in Dante's Inferno -- but at least the kids had fun and could leave us grown-ups to talk), but for the first time in a long, long time I was able to see the work of healing in progress. It wasn't painful; it wasn't awkward -- and even though it took a while to get through the pleasantries and address the proverbial 800-pound gorilla in the room (or would that be the 800-pound annoying mouse?), we were able to address that beast. Like a wound that has begun to heal over, the scar is still there, and it's still tender to the touch ... but the searing pain is gone. We talked about the horrible betrayal we experienced; we talked about our "friends" leaving us hanging and alone. We talked about our dreams and vision that was shattered -- and for the first time we heard an acknowledgment and affirmation to all of that. We were validated; our experiences were disregarded. Our friend even apologized for her complicity in it, admitting to a short period of time where she was swayed by those who sought to hurt us. She has to live with that knowledge. If I could have had an out-of-body moment, I would have been able to stand back and look in on Healing in Action ... one small bit at a time.

We left somewhat fulfilled, happy to have experienced that healing and reconciliation. It's only one couple out of many, but they were once a vital part of our lives. We will never have that same relationship back -- distance alone will see to that. But after over two years, we were finally able to see that healing is possible, that reconciliation with people and events of our past can be achieved, at least to some extent. It doesn't erase anything, and I have a feeling that the pain -- however slight -- will always be present.

But there's something very powerful in healing ... and forgiving.

And It Continues ...

After doing some good ol' soul-searching this morning, a few things have happened today which just served as the big grateful cherry on top of this sundae o' thankfulness. This time, two events from the medical field ...

Grace had her 4-year well visit this afternoon, and while I wasn't expecting any problems, it's nice to know she's fine. She charmed the lab coats off the nurses and did so well in her testing. One nurse, however, did something a bit unusual -- at least, something we've never experienced before. In our pediatrician's office, there is a little room in the back where the hearing and eye tests are conducted. Aidan has had this done before, and in the past I remained present in the room with him. This was a first for Grace, and the nurse took her by the hand, led her into the room ... and shut the door. I was a little baffled, so I just took Aidan and went into our exam room next door to wait. About 5 minutes later, Grace and the nurse emerged, both smiling. "Her eyesight and hearing are both absolutely perfect," the nurse said. "And she also misses Natalie very, very much."

Double-take ... what? What in the world does Natalie have to do with a hearing test?

"Grace wishes Natalie was here," she said further. "But she's happy that at least she now has Caitlin."

Where in the world did all this come from??!!

So for the next hour or so we sat and waited for the doctor to come. I tried to pry some information out of Grace, who is not nearly as forthcoming as her brother would be in this kind of situatino.

"Grace, why did you tell the nurse that you missed Natalie?"

A shrug.

"Did the nurse ask you any questions while you were in there?"

Another shrug.

After a while, I gave up. But then Grace said, "She asked me if I had any trouble, and I told her I missed Natalie so very much."

Hmmmm ... I have my suspicions what kind of conversation might have gone in that little room, in the privacy of the four walls and Mommy outside. Is this what pediatricians do now in order to discover what might go on at home? I don't know ... but clearly we passed the test. That is, other than the grief of lost friends.

And on the health front, Grace is in great shape. 95th+ percentile for height, 50th for weight. But the poor thing walked away with four shots, piercing screams for each. And by piercing, I mean I'm still trying to regain my hearing in my throbbing right ear.

Two generations later, we received great news today from my mom ... her cancer has not returned! Three months ago, we received a bit of a scare ... though "scare" is too strong of a word. While cancer was not detected in a scan, there was some suspicious "activity" going on in one of her lymph nodes. Last week she went for another PET/CT scan, fervently praying all the way that it was just nothing.

Well ... nothing is often not "nothing" when you're dealing with things like this. While that particular suspicious area didn't show up this time around (whatever "it" was, "it" cleared up on its own), two more suspicious areas did -- this time one in her neck. It's not cancer ... the good news! However, this is strange "glucose" activity, so we're not sure what that means. One thing it does mean is that my mom has to go for yet another PET scan in 3 months to monitor what's going on.

She's frustrated beyond belief that there's always something that pops up ...
I'm thrilled beyond belief that it's not cancer! And, as the doctor said, this cannot lead to cancer. He just isn't sure what it signifies ... but hey -- it's not cancer!

In a half hour I will be putting the kids to bed, and I will be putting my feet up ... relaxed, happy, and so very, very thankful ...

Feelin' Thankful ...

There are some days when I'm out of sorts, feeling as if some little puzzle piece is missing and I just can't find it. There are some days when I am so discontented with my life, where the "lacks" seem to bombard me around every corner and blind me to all that I truly have. There are some days when I feel utter grief -- still -- about the life I used to have, and all of the dreams that disappeared with it.

And then there are days when everything feels so right, when I wake up with a smile and feel nothing but thankfulness for what I do have. And oh, I have so much ...

- One of the blogs I follow mentioned something about the messed up state of health care. I spent some time reading the comments -- or horror stories, rather -- of people who either have no care, or completely inadequate insurance. And just last week I was complaining about the jump in our co-pay to $30 a visit. I am so thankful that we have insurance -- that our state came to our rescue during our months of unemployment (now that was a wonderful experience -- everything was free!), and our insurance now covers our needs adequately. This afternoon I have to take Grace for her 4-year-old well visit ... and I'm thankful that I am able to do so.

- This morning Don sent me a little video taken from his iPhone. He left Massachusetts at 5:00 a.m. today, heading to a client somewhere in the Hamptons. The short video clip is of his ferry ride. I thought, "How fun is that ..." And then I thought, "How grateful we are that he has a job!" It's a tough one, full of stress and exhausting work -- much, much more work than we anticipated, and much more travel than we were lead to believe. But I have made the conscious decision not to complain about any of that. Sure, it's inconvenient and it's tough on the kids (and me) ... but he's working, when so many are not.

- Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by the difficulties that pop up in my life, and yes -- there are times when it feels as if the floodgates have opened unusually wide. It's so easy to turn inward, to put the blinders on and focus on your own problems. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself -- difficult situations do need to be addressed. But once I take the blinders off and look around me, I see that I am not alone. A dear friend was struggling with selling her home; another friend lost her job and her husband is also out of work. My oldest friend's husband tore his Achilles tendon and is spending the entire summer on crutches, while her 8-year-old son was just diagnosed with a rather severe case (for his age) of scoliosis. A short while ago, I decided to stop praying for myself. God knows my needs, He knows my pain, He knows my daily struggles -- He can take care of it. So I have been praying for others -- that my friend's home will sell quickly; that another friend's personal crisis will lift; that my next door neighbor's 3-year-old daughter will heal from serious hip surgery. And somehow, just praying for others, have lifted my spirits in an inexplicable way.

- There's a family I know (though not well) who is going through a divorce, and I look at those directionless kids and wonder what they are feeling, what their lives are going to be like. Then I look at my own kids. I love my kids. They are good kids. Despite the yelling, despite the squabbling, despite those days when I want to pull my hair out ... they are good kids. Sometimes I can't believe God entrusted them into my care.

- There is nothing in the world like having good friends in your life. I am not friend-less. Since moving back to NJ, I have not been able to make many friends, but just having even one good, close, go-to girlfriend is like some kind of treasure. And for those friends with whom I don't get much face-time, I can always pick up the phone. I am not alone. I am loved, for who I am.

- Without going into a lot of confidential detail, I will just say that I am fairly exploding with gratitude for God's continued provision in a big area of our lives. We send Aidan to a Christian school, and this year Grace will be joining him for the first time in preschool. Through great provision, we are able to send our kids to the school this year. In this area, this is truly an exercise in trusting in God's provision for your "daily bread." We were getting a bit nervous, wondering if -- or how -- it would all work out ... and it did. Next year? Not even going to worry about it. I am thankful that I have learned how to live like this -- to not look too far into the future.

- Don is coming home tonight. Tomorrow we are traveling halfway to meet old friends of ours from one of our former churches in PA. This is rather odd for me, for this was another life -- I was another person. Sometimes I find it very difficult to meld these two lives together. Then, I was the priest's wife; I lived in the rectory; I had a very different role to play. Now ... I'm not. But those relationships were forged then, under different circumstances. Sometimes I have a difficult time crossing that bridge. And this couple, at the time, served as Aidan's -- and later, Grace's -- "surrogate" grandparents, since we lived a few hours away from the "real" Grandma and Grandpa. They lavished my kids with hugs and love and gifts. They were the first ones little baby Aidan would run to on Sunday morning. And now ... it's just odd. I'm feeling a little strange about seeing them. But ... how thankful we are that people still love us, even after all these years.

I know I will have more moments when the "lacks" flood back to the surface ... when I look at all of my dreams and realize some of them might never come true ... But for now, I feel nothing but thankfulness for what I have, and for what God has blessed me with.

And for now, that is more than enough.

When You're Bested By Your Kids ... (Or: Watch out for 4-year-olds and Fulcrums)

At the dinner table, it is not unusual for Grace to talk constantly ... to anyone or anything. We've gotten quite accustomed to tuning her out, and she's become quite accustomed to being tuned out. She will usually end up talking to the air, about anything imaginable. And we will drift in and out of her conversations throughout our meal.

Tonight, as the kids and I sat down to homemade pizza, Grace struck up her usual undirected conversation. Being very tired after playing Single Mom for the week, I proceeded to tune her out ... until I heard something very unusual.

Next to her plate, she had a piece of paper, a stray string of mozzarella cheese, and a fork. "OK," she said, positioning and arranging her pieces just so. "Here is the object, and here is the fulcrum."

I did a double-take. "What did you say, Grace?"

"'Fulcrum,'" she said as she placed the piece of cheese on the fork. "I said, 'fulcrum.'"

I must have looked dumbfounded as I stared at her.

"Yes, she said 'fulcrum,'" echoed her big brother. "See, Mommy, she has the body there, and that's the fulcrum."

And Grace continued chattering away ...

I ate my pizza in silence.

So Much For Surprises ...

Remind me again why I thought it was a pretty neat thing that Aidan learned to read at such an early age ...

... because it totally back-fired. In short, having a child who can read anything results in blown surprises.

I knew what happened as soon as I heard his explosive declaration, "Oohhhhh, cool!" I knew in my gut what he had done; I knew one of the coolest surprises was completely blown, and I knew that none of my Crafty Mommy Truth-Twists (such as the Tooth Fairy near-debacle) would cut it this time.

"Mommy!" he said with glee, as he came barreling into the kitchen. "I just saw your email from Daddy! The subject line said "For Aidan's Birthday" so I knew it was for me, and I saw the Darth Vader piñata! That's soooooo cool!!"

For a brief, halted moment I was hung up on the fact that my young boy could converse eloquently using the words "subject line" in his conversation. And then I blundered through some explanation that it was just something Daddy saw in the store and he thought Aidan would like to see a picture of it ... That might have worked, if Aidan didn't remind me of the darned subject line: "For Aidan's Birthday."

Ah, sigh ... I guess the best thing we can do is just not talk about it anymore, so when the day comes it will be somewhat of a surprise ...

Sure. And I'm also running for the empty seat of Governor of Alaska.

Shhh ... Don't Tell Aidan!

At 7:00 a.m. this morning, Aidan informed me that it was, indeed, seven o'clock ... and his birthday party is seven days away ... and he will be turning seven years old!

This boy thinks way too much.

The party planning is coming along. We have a fun, busy afternoon planned -- so please please please pray for a sunny day. If it rains, we've got a huge problem on our hands. All of the games are, obviously, catered to back yard play, and our house isn't big enough to host a group of kids indoors -- let along playful, rambunctious kids. In short, if it rains we're potentially sunk.

Aidan and I had a lot of fun designing and creating the invitations. Photoshop wasn't being very cooperative this morning -- the color disappeared, etc. -- but you get the idea:

And for the biggest -- and best -- surprise of all ... Last night Don, who is back in New England for the week, had visited a gift shop to pick up a postcard to mail to the kids, when he stumbled upon this ...


"Should I get it?!" he asked excitedly. Oh, how can he not ... You can't beat a piñata that looks like that! And just think of the fun these little Jedi Knights will have beating it to a pulp with a light saber ...

But just don't tell Aidan. This well-planned, well-prepared boy has to have a few surprises in his little life ...

When It All Pays Off ...

I had one of those "It's All Worth It!" Motherhood moments this morning -- the kind of moment where you see all of your teaching, all of your befrazzled states, all of your repetition "pay off," so to speak. Just a few seconds ... but it was there.

This morning I had a few errands to run -- replenish our coffee supply, milk and bread, that sort of thing. As I grabbed my keys, I suddenly remembered that months ago, Aidan -- after winning a reading contest in school -- had received a gift card to a local book store. This particular shop just so happened to be near the grocery store I needed to patronize, so I thought the kids would enjoy a nice little unexpected surprise. Aidan was thrilled, having himself forgotten this gift, and he asked if he could carry it in his pocket.

The kids opened the front door and stepped onto the porch. As I fumbled with my keys in order to lock the door, "The Moment" occurred, out of the blue ...

"Grace, listen," said Aidan to his little sister. "I have $10 to spend at the book store. You may spend half of it. That means you have $5 to spend, and I have the other $5. Would you like that, Grace? I'll help you pick out a good book."

I turned around and stared at my boy. He smiled and shifted a little, unsure of why I was looking at him. I smiled back, then gave him a big hug. I told him how proud I was of him, how amazing that gesture was. He beamed at the praise -- and rightly so.

Those moments don't last very long, as this afternoon a simple writing project took me two hours to complete, due to the constant bickering and interruptions. But the point is that" The Moment" did happen ...

.. and it was simply beautiful.

Nasty Wet Blanket

Yes -- that's our weather as of late. Walking outside and immediately getting wrapped in a hot, sticky, wet blanket is beyond unpleasant. My motivation level has dropped to near zero, not wanting to exert myself. This slog is affecting all of us -- even Jack, who is stretched out on the floor, fast asleep. Oh, wait ... he's always like that.

Don is gone again, zipping away yesterday afternoon for another week of training in New England. He's actually looking forward to this trip, for he's going with an entirely new perspective. He has a foundation now, a context with which he can function. He has a list of questions and areas on which he would like to focus -- situations that have come up over the past few weeks. He's received quite a few compliments already, and his strengths and abilities have not gone unnoticed. He's had a terribly rough time in the past, so to hear some positive praise is a welcomed thing. It's nice to see him smile.

The kids, however, are now wise to what's going on ... and they are not happy. Aidan is my boy through and through, sensitive to his very core. While Daddy going away is no longer an unknown, the knowledge of it in a way makes it even more difficult. It is no longer an adventure. The days will seem long to my little guy. Hopefully we will be able to plan a few fun things this week, despite the weather. For me, I've gotten a bit more accustomed to it. Last night's sleep ... well, it didn't happen. At least, not well. Every noise, every light, every twitch from Jack popped my blurry eyes wide open. Tonight will be better, I'm sure, but today the lack of sleep added to my lack of motivation is proving already to be a fairly lethal combination. For me, my personal witching hour comes around 4:00. The day is long, the kids are usually done with each other by that point ... and my day still isn't over. Making dinner for the three of us is less than a pleasure, for we all need a break from each other ... yet we still have a few hours to go. And today is Monday ...

Blessings to you on this nasty day -- and may you find relief from this Easy Bake Oven!

A Culinary Double-Take

Back to back dinners of deliciousness ... yum! Anticipating more requests for this dish as well (after I finish gushing about it), I thought I'd jump the gun and post it here before my inbox overflows with hungry callers. Still reeling with delight from last night's salmon, I was pleasantly surprised that tonight's dish -- laughingly called Pilgrim's Chicken -- ranked up there along with some top winners. Seriously, this dish was amazing ... I believe I would have licked my plate clean, it was that good. I was truly sad when the dining experience was over and it disappeared. So if you like cranberries and chicken, and you enjoy the sensation of a confused (in a good way) palate, then print this out and give it a go!

(A big note: I made some serious modifications out of necessity. This came from the Beer Can Chicken cookbook -- used heartily back in the day when we still had our fabulous Weber charcoal kettle grill and could do this kind of cooking. We sold the grill, hence the modifications ... If you'd like the real version -- a whole bird with a can stuck up its rear end -- then by all means please let me know ...)


Pilgrim Chicken with Cranberry Salsa

For the Rub:
1/2 tbs brown sugar
1/2 tbs coarse salt (kosher or sea)
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Cranberry Salsa
(Note: this recipe makes far more than you will need, but you won't mind having the leftovers!)

1 can whole berry cranberry sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1-3 jalapeño peppers, seeded and minced
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
3 scallions, both white and green parts, trimmed and finely chopped
1/3 cup sugar, or more to taste
1/4 cup fresh lime juice (or juice of 2 fresh limes), or more to taste
Coarse salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Add all the salsa ingredients in a medium bowl and gently mix well.
Grill the chicken and place on top of a bed of rice.
Top with a generous amount of cranberry salsa.

The results will delightfully confuse your palate, intermingling sweet, tart, and spicy all in one happy mouthful. You'll love it!

Buon Appetite: Happy to Oblige!

As per Jacie's recipe request for the Salivacious Salmon of last night, here goes, my culinary friends:


Grilled Salmon with Thai Cucumber Relish

Prep time: 15 minutes
Marinating time: 15 minutes to 4 hours
Grilling time: 6-8 minutes

4 salmon steaks (we used 1.25 lb salmon fillet)
3 tbs dark sesame oil
freshly ground black pepper

RELISH:
2 tbs fresh lime juice
1 tbs fish sauce
1 tbs soy sauce
1 tbs sugar
1 tbs finely chopped fresh mint
1 tbs finely chopped fresh cilantro
1 tsp minced serrano chile
1/2 tsp minced garlic
1 cup finely chopped or thinly sliced cucumber

***************************
A few notes before I go on ...
- I did not have fish sauce on hand, so (according to a few other sources) I doubled the soy sauce to substitute
- I did not have a serrano chile, so I substituted the closest thing my grocery store had (a hot green pepper)
- I completely forgot about the sesame oil -- Don just used salt and pepper on the salmon

(Considering these deviations, it still tasted terrific!)

***************************
To make the relish:
- In a medium bowl, whisk all the relish ingredients except the cucumber.
- Add the cucumber, stir well, and allow to sit at room temperature for 15 minutes (or for as long as 4 hours).

Grill the salmon:
- Lightly brush or spray salmon with the sesame oil (if you remember!)
- Season with pepper to taste.
- Grill over direct high heat until cooked to desired doneness (6-8 minutes for medium-rare), turning once.

We served it on a bed of rice, topped with the relish and as much of the juice as you like. Enjoy!

Dr. Grace Strikes (I mean, Cares) Again ...

I don't think there's another girl on the planet who cares for her dog so much. Well, maybe there is ... but Grace's heart is far, far bigger than her tiny frame. For the past 20 minutes (and counting), she has donned her doctor gear and has been "caring" for her beloved dog, talking sweetly to him, stroking him, and checking him out with various plastic implements. Seriously ... this girl has "vet" written all over her future ...

(Either that, or "actress.")

This is what initally caught my eye. Apparently there's a much less invasive way to take a dog's temperature. Forget his rear end ... just slide the thermometer under his collar. You can't get much more accurate than that!

Working from Home? Not So Bad ...

... because every once in a while Don emerges from his dungeon (um, er, basement office) and declares, "I need to cook!"

The other night our plans became scrambled, due to the Eyeglass Dilemma, so we ended up making dinner after the kids went to bed. On the menu? Grilled salmon with Thai Cucumber Relish. I stopped counting after about 10 "ooooh's" and a dozen "aaaah's" ... I said to Don that out of all the salmon recipes we have experimented with, this was by far the absolute best. Outrageously easy and quick, the fresh flavors were simply amazing on top of the perfectly grilled salmon.


Make that 13 ... "aaaaahhhhh...."

You Just Can't Beat a Beautiful Day with Good Friends and Stinky Animals

Yesterday was, I believe, one of the best days of summer so far -- a day in which I truly felt utterly, wonderfully, warm-and-fuzzy happy. Sandy emailed me a few days ago, asking if we would like to get together for a day trip (somewhere, anywhere) -- I readily agreed. The destination, a family run zoo and museum, excited me for a couple of reasons: 1) You just can't have a bad day when animals are involved, and 2) both Don and I had visited this established when we were little kids, so I was very curious to see what it was like now.

It was a quite a long drive, but Sandy and I had no trouble whatsoever passing the time with hearty "girlfriend conversation" while the kids quietly zoned into a movie in the back seat. Sandy's comment made me laugh -- "I sometimes forget we're in New Jersey when I see all this farmland." Indeed, the area of our travel was stunningly beautiful -- rolling hills, tall corn, bright red barns dotting the land here and there -- a photographic masterpiece right outside of the window. Simply gorgeous.

There's nothing quite like being greeted by a fake deer

Sure ... why not ...

What is it about kids needing to sit on the backs of animal sculptures?

"Look!" shouted Aidan when he saw this bench. "Hieroglyphics!"

To my great humor, I saw that nothing had changed in the 30 years since I had visited as a child. The museum hosted everything you could possibly imagine under the sun. In fact, it reminded me of a mini-Mercer museum (minus the awesome castle and sheer volume and scale) in Pennsylvania -- primitive tools, farm equipment, dolls, arrowheads and artifacts, antique cars, wagons and sleds, minerals, nasty animal embryos in jars of formaldehyde, stuffed animals enough to send a taxidermist into a state of eternal bliss ... everything was there. Not one single item had been moved, I don't think.

This is Goliath -- during his lifetime, he was the largest bear in the world. I think -- I didn't catch all the details. But what was fun about this guy was that both Don and I remember seeing him here when we were kids ... alive and well ... He died in 1991.
Pretty amazing, really, when you take in his sheer size ...

Don specifically asked if I could take some pictures of his favorite part when he was a kid ... Nasty ...

A girl, a mountain lion, an ostrich (or emu?) ... and a deer caught in the headlights.

Now THIS is my kind of exhibit!!!

Jailbreak!
(Darn ...)

This gives new meaning to the phrase, having "a millstone around your neck."
(The kids thoughts it was some kind of giant tire)

The "zoo" part of the park was about the same as I remember as well. It might have expanded somewhat, but much remained familiar. I think most of us could agree that one of the best sites of the day was the herd of Bison -- enormous, shaggy, majestic creatures that really take your breath away. Poor Aidan, though, was quickly sickened by them, turning green as he began to walk away. "I feel sick," he said. I thought the smell was getting to him, but no -- he couldn't handle them constantly peeing and pooping all over the place. "I can't handle it!" he moaned. "It's just too much!" Is it wrong to chuckle at your poor boy's infirmity?

What a joy ... the kind of day where all of the puzzle pieces fell effortlessly into place, completing a perfect picture. We three finally returned home, tired -- but in that good kind of tired way. After dinner followed a quick bath, and the kids fell into their beds, fast asleep almost before their sweet little heads hit their pillows, tightly hugging their stuffed animals.

It doesn't get much more perfect than that.

If You Play Your Cards Right ...

I pulled out a rather dusty card yesterday that, admittedly, I was a bit ashamed about -- the Nagging Opinionated Wife card. Eeeks ... it does exist, and while I do use it from time to time, I have not pulled out the Big Guns in quite a while ... until yesterday.

Don's new job has brought about an unforeseen (pun unintended, but appropriate!) side effect -- massive headaches. Ten years ago, armed with some killer health insurance which included vision care, Don and I trekked down to an über-cool eyeglass joint in downtown Philadelphia ... and by cool I mean smokin' hot eyewear! Expensive? You bet -- but we were young, part of the DINK category ("double income, no kids"), and the vision insurance covered ... well, all of it. I walked away with the discovery of a bizarre eye disease which no one knows much about (oh, lucky me!), as well as a fun pair of rimless specs that I still enjoy to this day. Don's glasses, however, were beyond memorable -- made of buffalo horn, super sexy, and super pricey. "They'd better last you for the rest of your life!" I said.

Well, they lasted 10 years. The little screws are starting to loosen up and they're just wearing out. But even so, because of the headaches due to all this computer work, it was time for a new prescription. Ten years is a long, long time to go without a check-up. (And yes, I am preaching to the proverbial choir ... My turn will come one of these days).

He left for his appointment, and after a while I saw an email in my inbox -- a picture from Don, of the frames he had picked out. And that's when my card-playing began.

I hated them! Well, they weren't bad, in and of themselves, but I hated the thought of them on him. I immediately whisked off a bold "NOOOOO!!!!!" in the hope that he would receive my objection. Could I rescue him in time from a bad decision?

And why, you might be asking, did I feel the need to get involved in the first place?

Well, that's the Card in Question, isn't it -- this Nagging Opinionated Wife card. My first thought: I want my husband to look good ... and these won't do it! Perhaps some men can pull off rimless glasses, but not Don. (And perhaps some of you might even have oh-so-deftly caught the double-standard, as I sit here staring at my computer screen ... wearing rimless glasses. My second thought: I don't want to be some dorky twin couple who wear the same glasses.). And yet ... could there be another level to this? Another layer that I don't want to uncover, for fear of what I might find? Could it be this bizarre need of control that rears it's irraitonal head from time to time? I can't control my husband, of course -- nor do I want to -- but I can "lend a hand," shall we say, in his appearance. Perhaps, too, I'm starting to feel a little ... old. Perhaps I recognize that we aren't in our hip, cool 20's ... but I want myself, and my husband, to linger in that general neighborhood for as long as possible. My fear was that these rimless glasses would propel Don into the next decade of life far too soon.

I picked up the phone and, after hearing his "Ugh, here we go..." hello, I pitched my frantic plea. "You didn't buy them, did you? Pleeeeaasssee tell me you didn't buy them!" Of course, I proceeded to explain why I felt that way. "The picture probably didn't do it justice," he countered. "Trust me -- they look good."

Trust me ... ah, there's the rub. Frankly, I didn't trust him -- not in the department of appearance, at least. When he shaved off his Baker's Dozen-year's worth of goatee, I asked him -- kindly, gently -- to grow it back. And my wonderful, forgiving, I'll-put-up-with-her-antics husband cancelld his order and suggested we go back later in the evening, so we could pick something out together.

Perhaps you're shaking your collective heads at this none-too-attractive side of me, but let me tell you -- seeing the frames in person didn't change my mind. He put them on ... and suddenly aged another decade right in front of my rimless bespectacled eyes. Later I said to him, "Can I honestly tell you what I thought? I thought you looked like a dad ... a 48 year old dad who sits in a cubicle all day crunching numbers. You didn't look like ... you." Don't get me wrong -- there's absolutely nothing wrong with a 48 year old dad ... But when you're only in your 30's, it's nice to enjoy it for as long as you are able. He'll get there soon enough.

I don't think he was completely convinced -- at first. And I do understand why he liked those frames -- they felt like air, like he wasn't wearing any glasses at all. But on a practical note, they wouldn't have worked well. He only needs glasses for reading and, obviously, computer work, so all through the day he will be putting them on and taking them off. With ear pieces the equivalent of flexible wires, they're not all that suitable for tugging on and off. That convinced him.

It was slim-pickin's, though ... all of the frames that looked fabulous on him were too narrow. Maybe I was trying to channel his fantastic buffalo horn frames and find a similar replacement -- but I do think he looks great in a heavier frame. Finally we settled on one we both liked -- in fact, a perfect compromise. Heavy frame on top, rimless on the bottom, and fantastically cool ...
OK -- perhaps this isn't "The One" ... but it was the closest I could find. I love them, and I think he looks amazing in them. Different? Sure. He called them "Old man glasses that were funkified." So ... perhaps that was hitting a little below the belt, playing a card I might not have had any right to handle. But ... we all do it, don't we? To some extent or another, to be sure, we all exert our opinions, couching them in a more subtle, gentler guise, perhaps.

Oh, I am so flawed ... but you know -- my husband looks pretty darned cool ...

Stand-Up Comedian She is (Apparently) Not ...

Grace is in a wonderful mood today -- full of crazy hilarity and plain old silliness. On the way to the doctor's office, she decided to lighten the mood with a few jokes.

"Everyone, I have a joke!" she announced with gusto.

"Grace," Aidan commented, "I have to tell you ... you don't tell very good jokes."

She was undeterred. "What did the dump truck say to the other dump truck?"

"What?" Aidan responded, quite reluctantly.

Grace threw in a pregnant pause for effect (this girl has instinct!), then delivered the punch line: "Because it was dumb!" (Mommy's observation: I think she believes it's a "dumb truck.")

"Oooohhhh," Aidan moaned. "Grace, that just wasn't funny."

She was still undeterred. "Knock knock," she said.

"Who's there?" answered Aidan, again reluctantly.

"Because he ate an egg!" she yelled with glee, bursting into crazy laughter, "AaahHAAHAAHAAHAA!"

Aidan paused for a moment. "Grace, now you really have to listen to me," he said sternly. "You do not tell good jokes. I think you need to stop."

Her laughter continued ...

The "Kissing Disease" ... in a child?!

I just got back from yet another doctor visit, this time with Aidan ... again. Last week's visit to the doctor turned up nothing, and we were told to wait it out. So we did ... and yet now, going on two weeks of nothing, there has been no real improvement. Aidan's throat has been so terribly sore, yet it's not strep. He hasn't been able to eat -- a few bites of a meal at best, before he breaks down in tears, clutching his throat and crying of the pain. He sobbed and sobbed last night, afraid this is how his life was going to be from now on, and that he was going to die from it. My poor boy ...

So what did the doctor turn up today? Nothing. Her suspicion -- laughably so? -- is that it could be mono. Ummm ... come again? Mono?! That "kissing disease" teenagers are warned about? I know it's more than that, of course, but it just sounded so strange! She said viruses can last up to 2 weeks, which is where we are now, but she was concerned that the pain is still strong. It should have lightened up by now. She gave me a lab script for blood work to check for mono ... yeah, I don't think we'll be doing that. There's no cure for it, she said -- she just wants to know if it might be the reason for this lingering illness.

I have a suspicion it might be his allergies acting up -- his "unofficial" allergies, of course, since he has never been formally tested. She prescribed Singulair to see if that might help. Over the past week he's developed his famous "allergy shiners" -- those giant dark rings under his already giant dark eyes, giving him a scarily gaunt appearance. His color hasn't been good, adding to the dungeon-prisoner look. I do hear congestion and think there might be a drip involved. She was skeptical -- an allergy drip doesn't cause that much throat pain, she said.

Mysteries abound in our household, apparently.

How My Kids Define "Monday"

I'm not sure what to make of this ...

Aidan, I get ...
But this little girl ... Bat Princess?

NOW Summer is Here ...

Today marks the hottest day of the summer so far ... We're looking at numbers in the mid-90's and wet-wool-blanket humidity. All I can say is ...

Eeeewwwww!!!

But if it has taken this long -- mid-August -- to reach this kind of weather, I have nothing to complain about. Don told Andy -- who is sweltering in Texas now -- that this is the most beautiful and comfortable summer he can ever remember. So true. Although, remember ... because of the soggy mess in the beginning, summer didn't really start until a month ago!

Today Don is on the road, traveling outside of our home for the very first time. He is going to spend some time at a client's house in a super ritzy area, acting as the eyes and ears for his colleague, who will be operating the scenario remotely from Cape Cod. Got all that? Yeah -- OK. Then next week we recently learned he's beckoned back to Cape Cod for yet another week of training ... "bad" in the sense that, well, it's another week with him gone. But it's certainly "good" because he needs the training. While he's doing well -- as well as can be expected -- he does feel like he's swimming in the deep end of the pool without a tube, so more training will be a welcomed thing.

And this morning, as I looked at the expiration date on the milk container, it suddenly hit me: summer is almost over! I got that antsy, pre-school feeling in my stomach, the first flutters. These next three weeks or so will fly by with unbelievable speed ... and I'm not ready for it! Summer had such a late start ... I feel somewhat gypped! And really, if I admit it, it's all about change ... My usual pattern? A new routine pops into place, it takes time to get used to it, and once I finally do get used to it -- and revel in it -- it's time to change once again! It's the Cycle of Life on many levels ... and here I am, absolutely loving summer and all that it brings, and in a few short weeks school begins again. Both of my kids are involved now, as Grace will be attending pre-school for three mornings a week for the very first time. Talk about adjustments ... that is something that will be very hard for me, not having my precious girl around. I cried buckets of lonely tears when Aidan went to preschool for the first time ... I am quite certain I'll do the same when both my kids exit the door on a school morning. (What, oh, what will I do for their weddings?!)

Ah, I'm jumping ahead of myself ... First things first: it's Monday! Don took our only car to the job site so we are stranded here at home. Mondays, however, are a fine stranding day -- I have 3 to 4 loads of laundry waiting for me, plus some final clean-up from our picnic with friends on Saturday. I have the summer issue of our church's newsletter to start (despite the several articles still missing, regardless of the vicious, threatening reminder emails I sent out), and then a date with my boy: party planning! I promised him that I would devote the next few days to his well-thought-out party. Today is Invitation Day, something we've been working on together -- selecting the right image, writing the perfect text. And as sad as this sounds, Aidan and I will sit together in front of the Toys R Us website and check out what toys he might be interested. Like I said ... sad, perhaps, but this is how things operate with Aidan. I suppose we're just used to it. Next we will craft our itinerary of Star Wars themed games and at some point I'll have to pay a visit to the Dollar Store to see what I can find. I'm actually looking forward to this project. I'm a half-closeted Star Wars fan myself, so I would much rather dive into this pool than, say, Donkey Kong.

Dear old Jack gets his stitches out tomorrow, although unfortunately all of his belly-licking (despite our diligence to keep his tongue away) seems to have removed some of the stitches. I think it's OK, though -- it seems to be healing nicely.

Monday, Monday ... a long hot day ahead of us. I think I will sign off and fill up the pool for the kids. We have a 4x6 blow up pool (or dimensions thereabouts) that we drag out from time to time, although this summer has not seen much use. For those few hot days we did have, we could always count on a pop-up thunderstorm in the afternoon, thereby wasting a big pool full of water. Today, though, calls for no such rain ... I think I'll even join them for a splash.

Happy Beginning o' the Week to you!

Summer Snaps

It is an absolutely glorious day here in New Jersey ... a typical August it is not. My parents took my nephews to West Point for the day, so the house is quiet. I turned off the air conditioner and reveled in the fresh air, the lovely absence of that constant droning hum. The sun is warm but the breeze is perfect.

Sandy took my kids for about two hours this morning -- a gift that defies description. Lately, because of the heat and humidity (and, in Aidan's case, illness), my kids have been playing in doors ... all day, every day. That's fine, in theory -- but there is limited space in our home and somehow they seem to take over everything! It's tough to clean up in that environment -- I lug a toy or set-up out of the living room so I can clean in that area (or simply trying -- in vain -- to keep my living room looking like a living room and not Romper Room), and by the time I come back another toy is in its place. I tried deep breathing, counting to infinity ... and finally just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. Stepping over Barbies, tripping over Hot Wheels ... I needed to organize -- badly! With the kids away this morning, I didn't get it all finished but at least some of it is taken care of. And it felt good to breathe!

I think we are all happy to finally be outdoors -- Jack included. Here are a few shots of a perfect lazy summer afternoon ...

When Power Rangers meet My Little Pony ...
Somehow it works!

Yes, the pup is FINALLY feeling like his old hound dog self. I believe he is completely over the surgery (stitches come out Tuesday), and he is pain-free. Even his back seems to be improving -- not 100%, but much better than before. He tires easily, and sometimes he slowly hobbles up the stairs ... but it's good to have ol' Jack back.

Have you ever seen a picture of a dog lazing in the sun? On its side, fast asleep ...
Beagles can't do that. They can't turn off their noses. Jack finds a nice spot, his body shifts, you can see he's clearly relaxed ... and then something -- anything! -- will float by him, wafting in the breeze ... and the nose twitches. The head moves with it. No, a Beagle cannot fully relax outside ... and he loves it.

Yeah ... YOU ...

Birthday Etiquette

In a few weeks' time, we will be embarking on a totally new -- and, for me, a rather intimidating -- adventure. Aidan, who will be turning 7 (oh, is it true?!), asked if he could have a "friend party" to celebrate his birthday. The reason? He's never had one before.

When I mentioned this to Sandy, she said, "Oh, how SAD!" Indeed ... but this has been the life of my boy. He's moved too many times in his short little life and never had -- until now -- the opportunity to settle down, make friends, actually keep friends, and then celebrate with them. Up until now we have only had family parties, which -- if I'm being totally honest -- have been perfectly fine with me. The thought of other little nearly-7-year-olds running around makes my blood run cold.

When he broached the subject several months ago (as in January 1, 2009 -- "I'll be 7 this year!"), he immediately informed me of the venue of choice. I had to put my foot down on that one. I know his classmates held parties at various party spots, and I do understand the value of plunking down your money to let someone else do all the work. In truth, a part of me -- a large part -- would be quite happy with that proposal. I have nothing "against" venue parties -- the kids love them, and in a way I think the parents do too. The wallet, however, is the thing that is loudly protesting. So, over these past few months, I said a "friend party" would be a fine idea, but it would have to be held at our house.

Boy, did that bring me back down Memory Lane ... my own little bowl-cut-and-polyester affairs, captured forever on ancient slides -- my girlfriends and I (and my little brother Jim) gathered around the decorated table, a homemade cake in the shape of a rabbit or a dog or some other character proudly displayed in the center. Memories of the games and activities came flooding back ... yes, we can do this! At least ... I think we can.

Then I remembered a conversation I had years ago with Michelle, my sister-in-law, who decided to embark upon this "vintage" idea of an old-fashioned at-home party for her oldest son. She invited some of his friends, and while I don't remember all of the details, I recall two things that she told me: 1) that it was hard, hard work, and 2) the kids got bored pretty quickly. No flashy lights, no over-stimulation apparently equals boredom. And a bored houseful of kids is not a good thing.

Are we in trouble?

I don't know -- we don't have an option, really, so onward we press. I remember loving these kinds of homemade birthdays, and I hope this translates into our plans over the coming weeks. Aidan has expressed a keen desire to have a Star Wars themed party, and let me tell you -- for a boy who struggles in the imagination department, his cute little synapses are firing away at light speed. Daily he comes up with new ideas -- some possible, some fantasy, some a little cheesy. But he's doing it himself, and the excitement shining in his eyes as he lays out his plans before me is priceless. Yesterday he set about making homemade cardboard masks for everyone to wear -- beginning, of course, with his own. He asked me to print out the face of Anikan Skywalker, which I did -- he colored it, cut it out, glued it to the back of a cereal box, asked Grandma to cut that part out for him, and voila! First mask down. Cheesy? Yeah, a little ... but it kept him busy for an hour.

I recently read a very interesting article on the Birthday Party Dilemma, some of which I mentioned here (in regard to staying at home versus selecting a venue). The author wasn't saying one was better than the other, although she did scoff at some of the ridiculously over-priced and over-the-top ideas for a young child (and by that, I mean renting not one but two ponies, three blow-up contraptions, a clown, and a magician ... all for a 3 year old), the parent then putting themselves in the position to have to outdo themselves each year. This author did set about with the experiment of a stay-at-home party, admitting that she did go over the top despite her efforts to keep it simple. But she brought up one point which I found very interesting: this "new" idea of keeping the gifts wrapped until you get home.

Has anyone else wondered why this is done? Again, as a child, one of my favorite parts (of course) of the party was tackling the gifts my friends brought. In fact, thanks to the cleverness of my friend Luanne, we actually incorporated it into the activities of the party -- a game called "Hide the Presents," which took up a glorious amount of time and was fun for both the giver and the receiver. I will never forget the first party Aidan went to here in NJ, and when I asked him what kinds of gifts Joseph received, Aidan responded, "I don't know -- he didn't open them." I was confused, and Aidan explained, "His mom said they don't open the gifts in front of everybody. He'll open it at home later." He then paused a moment, thoughtful, and continued, "I felt bad about that. I was excited for him to see what I picked out."

Hmmmm ... it is a shame, isn't it? The author, in addressing this issue, said parents concocted this idea in order to shield the giver from the inevitable stinging comment, "I don't want that!" But isn't this all a part of growing up, the author proposes? A child needs to learn social etiquette at some point, and if they're continually shielded from those opportunities, you could be setting yourself up for something much bigger down the road. She decided to break with this new-found tradition and had her child open up the gifts with his friends gathered around him ... and they all enjoyed it.

I do believe I will follow her lead on this one. Parents of attendees -- I hope you don't mind. Partly it's for me: I need some of that frantic "What do I do with all these kids???!!" time to be swallowed up by a good old-fashioned "Hide the Presents" game. And partly I want my boy to enjoy the moment, surrounded by his new friends, reveling in the moment. His moment.

So beginning next week, I plan to carve out some time to get some of these lofty party ideas onto paper. After hunting around online for a Star Wars themed at-home birthday party, I found some great ideas: an Asteroid Hunt (like an Easter Egg hunt, but with balls of tin foil -- asteroid-like -- hiding a little something-or-other inside), Pin the Tail on Yoda (now if I can only find Yoda ...), some version of a space obstacle course ... We have 4 light sabers and Darth Vader costume (complete with a voice-changer) so there has to be a way in which I can incorporate those props. If anyone has a clever idea please don't hesitate to send them my way!

I have no idea how this will turn out ... it could be a glorious event or a big flop. He only wants to invite four friends -- well, he did ask if we could fly Caleb back from Texas, making a total of five, but despite his desperate pleas I said we just couldn't do it. It can't be too bad ... right?

My mantra for the next few weeks:
May the Force be with ME!