Laugh Lines for the Week

We are having just "one of those mornings." I've taken on the ministry of formatting our church's weekly bulletins, something that (in theory) is very easy and enjoyable for me, but of course ... it's just one of those mornings. My printer is acting up, my computer keeps jamming, nothing is working as it should ... and it's due at church by 12 noon today so the guy who makes all the copies can do his job. Ugh.

Meanwhile, my kids are also having one of those mornings. Aidan wanted to play with his Hot Wheels, so he got out his favorite ones and started playing with his track/play-set. Of course, his little sister wanted in on the fun, so she plopped herself next to her brother with her own cars. Aidan wanted none of it and the whining commenced. "I want to play by myself!" he moaned. "Take her away! I want to be alone!"

Grace knows well enough what that means, and she was quite perturbed to be excluded in such a fashion. She cried, she hit, she threw a car, and then -- something new here -- she spit. This went on for about 15 minutes, as my blood pressure started to rise with the computer mishaps and the kid eruptions. Finally with a huff I got up from my chair, picked up Grace, got her some juice, and settled her on the floor of her bedroom with the suggestion that she have a tea party with her friends. She loved the idea, now all smiles and good cheer.

Not two minutes later Aidan walks into the room. "I want to play," he announced. Grace's response? "No way!" Aidan was rebuffed. He came to me with wide eyes -- "She won't let me play with her!" he gasped, dumbfounded.

"Well," I said. "Are you surprised?" I explained to him (again) the golden rule of "doing unto others." She wanted to play with Hot Wheels and he made a fuss. Now the tables are turned ... and it doesn't feel so good. He thought for a while. Then he went back into the bedroom, said something to Grace, and sat down amongst party animals (quite literally said, as many of her stuffed animals are on the floor with her). "Want some tea?" Grace asked her new party guest.

I peeked into the room, smiling at my kids who -- on their own, for the most part -- resolved a sticky situation. I was proud of them. And they were happy with themselves.

"Mommy," Aidan said, holding a tiny porcelain tea cup with a gorilla on his lap. "We forgave ourselves."

Amen, my boy.

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This funny story came to me via email yesterday, so I take no credit in the telling. But what made me laugh is that this so reminded me of my in-laws. My father-in-law is the most frugal of Scrooges -- so much so that when he needed glasses, he didn't buy a pair. Instead, he took an old pair that belonged to my mother-in-law decades ago (the gigantic bug-eye variety), took off the ear pieces, and attached a string to keep them in place on his head. I can't keep a straight face whenever I see him. This tale, I think, is the next step in the lives of my in-laws ...

The sharing of marriage...

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were use d to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered:

'THE TEETH.'