A new day

Wow, I actually skipped a day in my blogging adventures! That's OK -- my mind was relatively blank yesterday, plus Don had the day off so we maximized some much-needed family time. We went to Lowe's in the morning, checking out their selection of linoleum for our new kitchen floor project. We all took naps, and then Don gave me a wonderful gift: time alone to go off and do whatever I wanted, sans kids. Hooray! I wanted to search for a gift to give to my mom, to cheer her up post-surgery (I can't write about it here -- she reads my blog and I don't want to spoil the surprise). I hit a few shops (no luck) and then proceeded on to the library. I picked up a new novel (The Queen's Fool by Philippa Gregory), and some movies for Don and me (All the King's Men, and two documentaries -- The Gospel of Judas and Annie Oakley. Yeah, that combination made me laugh too).

Later in the afternoon we took the kiddies to the local wildlife sanctuary, where we saw a fox, red-tailed hawks, a Golden Eagle, deer, fish, giant turtles, snakes, many chipmunks skittering around. Grace's favorite thing in the entire center is the stuffed deer head on the wall. Her excitement at seeing the body-less creature is unparalled, and it just cracks me up. My hunting, woodsman father-in-law would be so proud of his granddaughter. Aidan's favorite part is following a "nature trail" which ends up at a large structure which he called a "treehouse" -- basically a scenic overlook type of thing. Grace fiercely protested that, since her attachment to the stroller kept her on the ground and excluded her from the adventure. So much for taking in the peaceful surroundings, which were pierced by her hideous screams.

My mom's surgery is just a few days away. I think I'm OK with it -- it's just very strange. I have no idea what to expect. But the word "cancer" has not pierced my thoughts with the horrible vengeance of last week, where I was completely leveled by fear. Not good at all. I'm glad God is a forgiving God, because I sure dropped the ball in the faith department! On Tuesday night a small group of people from our church held a healing/prayer service for my mom and it was really beautiful. Powerful, too. It was lead by our intern, and for someone who had never done anything like this before, he really did a fabulous job. It was safe, it was loving, it was an incredible expression of God's love shown in community. This is what it's all about. My mom was so touched by it all, and I think (scratch that, I know) it was something I needed too. I needed my warped mind restored, I needed not chastisement for my complete breaking down but rather loving affirmation. I had been so beaten up (spiritually and emotionally) over the years and somewhere in the midst of that I lost hope, and I lost trust. Witnessing what I did the other night, with these powerful women (and men) of faith was incredible. I want that, I said to myself -- I want that strength of faith, that positive and hopeful spirit. I want that with a fierce possessiveness. I'm not sure I'll get it -- not everyone has those kinds of gifts. But itt was beautiful.

So today is right in front of me -- a new day, a bright day. The blessings? My kids woke up happy. Right now they're running around, giggling and shaking maracas. Grace is getting a haircut in an hour -- I can't wait to see her cuteness.