vA ' kA ' shun

Definition: leisure time away from work; devoted to rest or pleasure

We haven't had one of these -- really -- in several years. I think our last "real" pack-your-bags-and-you're-off! kind of vacation was our trip to St. Martin in the Caribbean for the celebration of our 5th wedding anniversary, an incredibly marvelous experience. We tried going to Lancaster once when Aidan was around two, but it was kind of a bust. Sure, we had some fun, but overall it ended up being a very exhausting experience. Last year, when Grace was still in her infancy, a friend of ours (who is very financially blessed) gave us money to go on vacation. We had been dealing with several extremely difficult years in our second church, which ultimately lead to the termination of the entire staff as well as cutting Don to part-time. Our friend had been by our side through our years of struggle so he knew the emotional need for a vacation, a getaway. However, after tossing some ideas around, we realized this: going anywhere with our two kids would be the antithesis of the definition of "vacation." Some parents can do it; I simply cannot. We ended up hatching a brilliant plan: we took the kids to Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA for a day (all we could handle), and we took the remainder of our financial gift and went to Le Bec Fin, a world-renowned restaurant in Philadelphia -- an experience we will never, ever be able to repeat. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience, and in those few other-worldly hours, we cherished a true "vacation."

We are back in our financial straight-jacket (indeed, we never left it -- it will probably always be a garment hanging in our closet) and with Don a few months into his new job which provides just enough to pay our bills and rent and a few little comforts on the side, we knew that a vacation was not in our plans. At least not the kind where you pack up your car and head out to some destination for a week. Again, for me at least, the thought of going somewhere with my four-year-old and two-year-old did not compute into "leisure time away from work." Forget the ultimate price tag of such a trip; there would simply be no devotion to rest ... and that would have been my ultimate goal. So I just put the thought out of mind, figuring that we'll just stick around here for the summer.

Oh, how pleasantly wrong I was -- I got my true vacation after all! It was short -- a quick weekend -- but it fully embraced the very definition of the word. It started on Friday with the arrival of one of my oldest friends, a girl with whom I grew up since kindergarten. She now lives in Maine and I do not get to see her very often (indeed, our last face-to-face visit was two years ago) but we do keep in contact regularly through other means. She was able to embark on an impromptu visit back "home" to her family here in NJ, and we spent Friday afternoon together. She admitted how strange it was to come to my new home, knowing it was my childhood home and a place she visited countless times over the years as children, teenagers, and young adults. but just spending those few hours with a kindred spirit, having our children play in the yard together, was a tremendous gift for me, truly just "being" in the moment.

My "vacation" continued bright and early the next morning -- 6:00 a.m., to be exact -- as a flurry of packing commenced for our overnight trip to visit another old friend, my college roommate, Jen. Not too long ago she moved to a state which makes visiting each other much more conducive, so I was longing for this day when our families could come together. On a surface level, I needed this getaway desperately, to physically remove myself from my house and from the difficulties of the week. After going through the struggle of my mom's surgery and all post-events and occurrences, I was utterly exhausted (physically and emotionally) by the end of the week. I sat at the dinner table Friday evening, just staring bleary-eyed at my food, having finally reached that point of utter depletion. I couldn't even pick up my fork, I was so tired. Don asked me how my visit with Missy went and I responded that I just couldn't talk to him at the moment. It was nothing personal; I just couldn't summon the energy to open my mouth and produce words. Don't get me wrong -- I was more than glad to help my mom, and would have done anything I could, anything that was asked of me. But by that evening, all of that emotion and physical "running around" truly caught up with me. I desperately needed that "leisure time away."

Our weekend at my friend's home was the absolute embodiment of that: rest, play, laughter, a physical removal from my current life. I was somewhere else, geographically completely disconnected from my own world and circumstances. There's something about truly removing yourself that is healing in and of itself. Add to that the envelopment of love, of a friendship that has grown and mellowed and stayed strong, of being able to pick up where we left off, even after years of a physical absence from each other. It was magical. Their two children are roughly the same ages as my two, and the four of them got along splendidly, something which gave me tremendous joy.

Aidan, my oldest, found a great new mate in their oldest, sharing interests and activities which brought a smile to my face:

Both of my kids learned something new in this brief visit, with Aidan strapping on roller skates for the first time ...

And dear little Grace ... she found her soul mate in Matt, Jen's husband. Somehow Grace's adoration always settles on the older male. It was a joy to see my little girl's independence unfold in a new challenge set before her: tackling the slide, all on her own. Her first obstacle: climbing up the ladder ... "I see that hand, Mr. Matt. Don't even think of touching me. I'm doing it all on my own!"

"See, I told you I could do it. Now for the trip down ..."

...and into the arms of her beloved new friend.

I experienced a great gift this weekend. What started as a quick trip to see a friend turned into a true vacation for me ... and a vacation for my parents as well, who needed a weekend of quiet and rest. And now we are back, and thrown back in "life" with the force of a cannonball. Upon our arrival home, we immediately drove over to my baby brother's house, to pick up on the tails of a party celebrating his 34th birthday. Aidan, a bundle of excitement to see his cousins, tripped, fell, and literally bounced down the sidewalk in his running to the house. My arrival to the party came in the form of me carrying a crying, screaming, bloodied child (who is now covered in band-aids). My neat-and-tidy home -- which was the way we left it Saturday morning as we left -- has already been destroyed. The kids played nicely for a while but then started screaming at each other. I discovered that my aunt (on my dad's side) has Alzheimer's, another shock to our family. My mom paid an emergency visit to her doctor -- her first trip out-of-doors since her surgery last week -- because of an issue with her drains. The visit included unexpected news as well, that the pathology reports came back and her lymph nodes indeed were cancerous, which means chemotherapy -- a horrible ordeal -- is unavoidable despite our desperate prayers for the opposite. Oh yes, we are back in our-life-as-we-know-it. And yet I refuse to forget my vacation, where my spirit was refreshed, some joy was restored, I was able to see some incredible blessings in my life -- profound, life-sustaining friendships being just a part of it. I felt like it's Christmas in July. It's beautiful.