Casting Call: Day #2 ... MISERY!

It's a beautiful Sunday morning here in NJ ... and we all feel pretty miserable. Poor Grace had a HORRIBLE day yesterday. It started off so well (that's when I last posted), but by the afternoon I guess the "novelty" of a new cast wore off. She's absolutely miserable and it's breaking my heart. I know she'll plow through it, but it's the "getting through it" that's hard. I can't tell you how many times she just stopped what she was doing, started crying, and begged, "Mommy, PLEASE take this off!" It made me want to cry.

And unfortunately -- being the fallible human being that I am -- it's pushing buttons with me, buttons that I don't like about myself. I feel this sense of impatience when I hear "Mommy! Mommy!" ... I feel this horrible frustration with her, which I know is so totally misplaced. A few times I just had to walk out of the room for a few seconds, even though she was crying, just to breathe. In some ways I feel like I have an infant again, with all this dependency, and I'm finding it difficult to sort of "go backwards."

And the really weird -- and unexpected -- thing is that Grace has sort of gone backwards too, acting like a baby herself. I think it has to do with the need to crawl, like a baby, so her behavior is following suit. She's talking like a baby, her cries even have changed to more of a baby sound. It's so strange, and SO annoying!

I know all this will pass. I know it. I'm just feeling a little down about it all. Plus I have a bad cold, and I'm reeling from exhaustion -- physically, from carrying her heavy self around, as well as emotionally/mentally. Mommy Guilt does kick me in the butt at the same time: "What's wrong with you? Buck up and deal with it - it's not her fault!" It'll pass, I know ...

We're heading off to church in a little while, so it will be really interesting to see how she reacts in nursery with the other kids. I have this funny feeling that she's going to be completely normal -- which means the "act" is all for me. :) We'll see ...