A Healing Step

Wow -- this has been quite a weekend in the spirit-lifting department ...

On Saturday, we met with friends for the first time in over two years -- friends from another life, our former church; friends who once served as "grandparents" to my kids and then as painful reminders of a (one of many) shattered dream ... I admit I was a bit hesitant in seeing them again, crossing that bridge from one life back into another -- another "life" that at times I wish I could forget. But then I had to remind myself -- it wasn't all bad; it wasn't all painful. We had many happy times those years ago at our church ... but sometimes, somehow, painful memories overshadow the happy ones. But in spite of that, we set out to meet them at a halfway point, not sure how it would all play out.

To make a long story short, the afternoon played out just beautifully. And what was important for me was that, not only did we just have fun talking and catching up (unfortunately spending three hours in Chuck E. Cheese, one of my personal levels in Dante's Inferno -- but at least the kids had fun and could leave us grown-ups to talk), but for the first time in a long, long time I was able to see the work of healing in progress. It wasn't painful; it wasn't awkward -- and even though it took a while to get through the pleasantries and address the proverbial 800-pound gorilla in the room (or would that be the 800-pound annoying mouse?), we were able to address that beast. Like a wound that has begun to heal over, the scar is still there, and it's still tender to the touch ... but the searing pain is gone. We talked about the horrible betrayal we experienced; we talked about our "friends" leaving us hanging and alone. We talked about our dreams and vision that was shattered -- and for the first time we heard an acknowledgment and affirmation to all of that. We were validated; our experiences were disregarded. Our friend even apologized for her complicity in it, admitting to a short period of time where she was swayed by those who sought to hurt us. She has to live with that knowledge. If I could have had an out-of-body moment, I would have been able to stand back and look in on Healing in Action ... one small bit at a time.

We left somewhat fulfilled, happy to have experienced that healing and reconciliation. It's only one couple out of many, but they were once a vital part of our lives. We will never have that same relationship back -- distance alone will see to that. But after over two years, we were finally able to see that healing is possible, that reconciliation with people and events of our past can be achieved, at least to some extent. It doesn't erase anything, and I have a feeling that the pain -- however slight -- will always be present.

But there's something very powerful in healing ... and forgiving.