Shop Rite - Not Right

My usual "market day" is Wednesday morning, but this week -- due to Aidan's doctor's appointment -- I went on Tuesday morning instead. I'm not sure where my head was when putting together my list, for I forgot a few things that I needed and knew I'd have to go back again another day. Grocery shopping is one of the "chores" that I actually enjoy doing -- in theory, that is (provided the kids are behaving). I enjoy the plotting -- putting the list together in order of my store's layout -- and I enjoy the hunt. When one or both of the kids decide to be beastly, the fun is gone, of course, but usually they're OK (as long as I bring the usual snacks, which remarkably seem to be needed at exactly the same time each trip, when we hit the cold aisle for yogurt and cheese).

I have two big peeves when it comes to my grocery experience. One is this: when you empty something from the cupboard or fridge, or run out of a particular item, write it on the list. I have a magnet note pad hanging smack in the middle of our refrigerator door, so it cannot be missed. Write it down. Who emptied the last remnants of the bag of sugar into the sugar bowl? Write it down. Who ate up the last hot dog roll? Write it down. Who squirted out the last blob of BBQ sauce? Write it down.

Now, since I come just shy of being perfect, I do -- on rare occasions -- forget to write down used-up items. That last one -- the BBQ sauce -- was my doing, having forgotten all about it (and we still don't have it, darn it!). I can deal with forgotten condiments; it's the big-ticket items that get my proverbial goat. This week, for example, I told my husband that I was going a day early so get in any last-minute requests ... fine. I got everything I needed (except the BBQ sauce) and figured we were covered for a week. Then last night, as our vegetable oven pancake was in the -- well, oven -- I opened the freezer, hunting around for the chicken nuggets for the kids. Where are the nuggets? Nowhere to be found. I back-tracked a few days, realizing that Don broke out the chicken nuggets the previous Saturday, then emptied the box ... and didn't write it down. UGH. Grocery peeve starting to boil. Then after dinner, we're ready to break out our usual small dish of ice cream ... only to find that the ice cream was gone too. Grocery peeve boiling over ...

This morning I trucked on over to the grocery store with the four missing items on my list: zucchini, chicken nuggets, ice cream, and granola bars. I made a pit-stop in the condiment aisle, looking for herb-infused olive oil (fabulous stuff, which they sold once but never restocked, to my chagrin), when I heard a huge crash behind me. I spun around and for a second or two, time seemed to stop as my mind sluggishly churned its gears, trying to make sense of the very wrong sight before me. The grocery cart, with Grace strapped into the front seat, was not upright as it should have been, but rather it was tipped over, rear end high in the air and the handle end on the ground. I saw the back of Grace, arms splayed outward like an airplane, her face inches away from her brother's, who was lying on his back, pinned under the cart, his huge eyes even larger with fear. There was no sound. Finally my brain kicked into gear; "OK, girl, why don't you start doing something here ..." Leave it to my fearless daughter, who started cracking up as I righted the cart; clearly she was fine and enjoyed the ride. But Aidan was terrified, shining eyes on the verge of brimming over with tears, his little chin quivering. I asked if he was OK and he said his belly hurt, since the handle had landed right on his lower abdomen. I have a strange paranoia of undetected internal injuries, with the potential of felling its victim unexpectedly, so I'll be watching his belly today. So far so good. But still ... dude, that's what happens when your 44-lb. body tries to hang on the handle like a monkey bar, with only a zucchini and a box of granola bars as a meager counter-weight. Perhaps they should start teaching physics in kindergarten ... or just plain old common sense would do the trick.

After our hearts returned to normal paces, we continued on through the store and, since I had a total of 9 items in my cart, I went straight for one of the two express lanes: 10 items or less. I steered the cart into the second aisle, only to pause once again, brain churning with mathematics. The woman in front of me -- in the express lane -- had a full cart of groceries. I stopped counting at 28 items on the conveyor belt, with half a cart still to empty out. I looked at the woman, who clearly believed she was completely entitled to be in that lane, and I looked at the check-out woman, who gave me a funny "whaddaya-gonna-do?" smile in return. Forget that ... I moved over into the other express lane and made it out of the store before that obnoxious shopper even paid her massive bill. Major pet peeve ...

What a day. I wonder what other people get peeved about ... these things just happened to pop up today. I know I have others, and I'm sure I'll come across some more ...