My Mother's Daughter ... Maybe

I am not my mother's daughter. At least in some respects. Maybe it's (partly) because I'm adopted, and I don't have that Dutch huisvrouw gene in my blood. I always feel strange when, in filling out some form or other, I must check the box for "homemaker," for even though I stay at home and take care of my children, I can hardly call myself a homemaker. As a girl, I spent more time outdoors with my brothers playing wiffle ball, pickle, football, and with cars and trucks in the dirt than I did at my mother's side baking, sewing, or cleaning. While I do love to cook now (a new-found passion) and I love a clean and orderly house, I cannot say that it (cleaning, that is) comes naturally to me.

[Caveat here: this post has nothing to do about presumed gender roles or anything like that. I am not saying women are predestined to belong in the kitchen or strapped to an ironing board. This is about my own experience in taking care of my house ... or not. I know at least one stay-at-home dad, so this could be applied to anyone.] :)

When I was a girl, I was a huge fan of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her Little House books (I still am, actually). I remember in one of the earlier books, a young Laura talks about their life on the homestead -- in particular, the role of Ma (and, of course, every other female in that era):

"For Ma and other pioneer women, each day had its own proper chores. Ma used to say,

Wash on Monday,
Iron on Tuesday,
Mend on Wednesday,
Churn on Thursday,
Clean on Friday,
Bake on Saturday,
Rest on Sunday."

I always got a kick out of that little list, thinking how nice and orderly it all was for them. Things didn't change much, really, as the generations went on, for I realized that even my mother has a sort of weekly chores schedule. It doesn't involving churning or mending, and it isn't quite so set in stone or involving entire days just for one task, but she did (and does) indeed follow a particular rhythm. Her house is spotless, and everything gets done.

My great-grandmother, a formidable huisvrouw

So what's my deal? I have been a "housewife" now for almost 5 years (meaning: leaving my full-time job before my son was born) and yet I can't seem to get into any kind of predictable groove. I remember hearing stories of my women ancestors in Holland, living along the canals, doing so much housecleaning that it bordered on obsession. I was told of my Dutch womenfolk actually going outdoors to scrub their front stoop on a regular basis. I'm lucky if I grab a broom once a month to sweep the front steps. I found an updated version of this list, although it hasn't changed much:

Monday: wash day
Tuesday: ironing day
Wednesday: sewing day
Thursday: market day
Friday: cleaning day
Saturday: baking day
Sunday: day of rest

The article was very interesting, too, stating that there was actually some logic behind this. Doing the wash was the most vigorous of all chores (remember: no washing machines) so it made sense to do it on Mondays, since you had an entire day of rest the day before to gather your strength. With ironing coming the next day, to take care of the wrinkled clothes you just washed, it made sense to follow it with sewing and mending after that. This is actually very similar to the schedule that all my greats, and my grandmother, and mother held over the years. I grew up with the amazing smells of freshly baked goods every Saturday morning ... Interesting.

My other great-grandmother, meeting the weekly produce peddler

What got me thinking about this was my self-imposed chore this morning: cleaning the bathroom sink fixture. My parents got a new bathroom sink installed the other day, and my dad commented on how rusty my faucet looked, so he was going to save his old faucet (which was still newer than mine) and make a switch. I thought I'd check out my own fixture, to see how bad it was, when I noticed that it wasn't really rust -- it was just caked on junk from our hard water. I found some Lime-Away in the basement, took the fixture somewhat apart, doused the whole thing in the solution, and now it's bright and shiny. In my defense, I too thought it was kind of rusty -- that's what it looked like when we moved in, so I figured that was just its condition. Nope -- just covered in junk. Now ... if I had just followed my mother's example and scoured that bathroom once a week, I wouldn't have this problem. So where do I fit in? How much of a loser housewife am I? Let me look at my version of list again ...

Monday: wash day ... yep, that's the same
Tuesday: I don't really iron ... ever
Wednesday: sewing day -- I don't sew, except to replace a button or a quick fix of a hem or a hole in a stuffed animal. Instead, this is my market day.
Thursday: Since I already went to the market, this is the kind of day when I wake up, I know I've been very busy all day, yet when I go to bed I'm not sure what I've done)
Friday: Cleaning day? Well ... another day like Thursday, really
Saturday: baking day -- nope. I bake when the mood strikes. Rather, this is play day, get Don to help me with chores day, I need to get out of the house day ...
Sunday: day of rest -- Amen to that.

Hmmm ... not bad. About 3 very predictable housewifely events my seven-day week. Better than I thought. So why is it that the rest of my days are so haphazard? I clean the bathroom, sure ... when it's starting to look gross. I clean the kitchen, yes ... for the same reason as the bathroom. I dust and vacuum, of course ... when I can't stand how chaotic the rooms look. I pay the bills ... when I know the due dates are looming. I wash the dishes all the time, since we have no dishwasher, but I don't do it regularly, like every evening after supper, for example. Forget that: I want to relax! I want to play with my kids outside! I want to go for a walk with my family! By the time I'd get done with doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, my kids would have to go to bed.

I find all this extremely fascinating. I wonder if I would be able to follow through if I set up a true schedule for myself. Would I be able to do it? Would I prove a scientific fact, that the huisvrouw mentality can be nurture as well as nature? Or am I doomed because I am not a Type A personality, not one prone to this kind of thing? Maybe this can be a challenge to myself. So what would my week look like? Here's a possible list:

Monday: Wash Day
Tuesday: Dusting and Vacuuming
Wednesday: Market Day
Thursday: Clean the Kitchen
Friday: Clean the Bathroom
Saturday: Daddy's Home -- Milk It For All It's Worth Day
Sunday: The Lord's Day

OK -- the challenge is on! I will try this ... for how long? Two weeks? Weigh in, friends -- I'm just as curious myself to see if this will work. Break out the pinafores and hang on to your apron strings -- Susie Homemaker is on the loose! (Starting Monday, of course).