Senior Citizen

For the first time ever, I heard my dog referred to as a "Senior." Ooohhhh ... that made me sad. My sweet Jack is officially over the hill.

We've had a rocky road these last several weeks with his food. For nearly 10 years, Jack has been eating the same thing every day, twice a day -- Purina Pro Plan, beef and rice. As a puppy, he turned his nose up (do Beagles really do that?!) at Eukanuba, so someone suggested we try Pro Plan. Jack gobbled it up immediately, and continued to scarf it for almost a decade.

A short while ago, his food bin was empty -- bone dry. Like Old Mother Hubbard. He inhaled his last kibble that morning, so later on I went to our local pet supplier to pick up a new bag. And to my shock, the Pro Plan shelf was practically empty -- only a handful of bags labeled "Puppy." I didn't have time to ride around foraging for food, so that afternoon I cooked up some white rice and a leftover jar of baby food (sweet potatoes and carrots) -- enough to hold him over until I could get "real" food later that evening.

I drove to a nearby supermarket, only to find that they didn't carry dog food, period. I was getting desperate, so I zipped across the street to a pharmacy, where all they carried were small (and outrageously overpriced) priced bags of food. There wasn't much to choose from, so I decided to stick with the brand we were familiar with: Purina. This time it was Dog Chow.

Well, when I opened the bag the next morning you'd think I laid before him a T-bone steak with all the trimmings. He went wild. Well, that's a good sign, I thought -- it's cheaper than Pro Plan and he loves it. But then I went online, just to make sure it was OK ... and I read horrible reviews. "Watch out for diarrhea," one commenter wrote. And sure enough ... for the next two weeks Jack had the runs. Thank goodness it was cold outside, making the disposal of it much more ... solid ...

Now what do we do ... Well, Dog Chow is out of the equation, that's for sure. I went back to the pet supplier and talked to one of the employees, who happened to know a lot about dog food. We had quite a lengthy -- and truly interesting -- discussion. It turns out I've been feeding my dog crap for the past 10 years! Boy, did I feel bad. My stomach turned when the man told me of the "ingredients" -- it made scrapple look like an organic Whole Foods product. Then my ears perked up when he said that it's also filled with all kinds of wheat and corn and other grainy derivatives -- things that dogs just aren't supposed to eat. "That leads to all sorts of problems," he said. "Skin conditions, dryness, itching, allergies ..." Wait -- allergies?! "Yes," he said. "Does your dog chew on his feet a lot? Rip them up?" Oh, yes! I said -- ever since he was ... a ... puppy ... ooohhhh -- when he started eating that food! And all this time our various vets said he was allergic to grass, of all things.

The man suggested I buy a product called Wellness -- something I'd never heard of before -- and he recommended the allergy formula first, to get Jack's body back on track. There was nothing in it except one protein (I selected venison -- seemed more palatable than duck!) and one digestible carbohydrate (rice). That's it. But would you believe that when Jack raced to his bowl that afternoon, he actually came up short, sliding a bit across the floor like a cartoon character ... and he stopped. He was quiet. He sniffed. He nudged the bowl with his nose. He sniffed some more. He daintily lifted one little nugget out of the bowl, walked a few paces away, and dropped it on the floor. He sniffed it. He picked it up and dropped it again. He sniffed again. Then he finally ate it, slowly. He reluctantly walked back over to his bowl and slowly ate the rest. My goodness ... this is a Beagle, for pete's sake! He eats other animals' deposits ... and he can't eat healthy dog food?!

Well, that didn't go over so well either, as it turned out. For the next week or so, Jack threw up about every other day. I was at a loss -- what do we do? I was sick of cleaning up dog puke in the morning and frozen diarrhea in the afternoon, but what were our options? Don got fed up with the whole thing, and decided to stop at Petco near his work, just to see if they carried Pro Plan. Sure enough, they did -- and of course, in Don-fashion, he bought a giant bag that you could fit a child into. But I wasn't pleased -- they had changed the formula and now included "real" pieces of meat, something we never wanted to feed him. Soft food isn't good for dogs -- they need the crunchy nuggets to act like dental floss. Soft stuff just gets stuck in their teeth, and we cannot afford to shell out hundreds of dollars (yes, literally) for doggie dental care. Don didn't pay attention to the bag, and now we're stuck with a giant bag of ... crap.

I felt really badly about this. Then on Sunday I finally had a productive conversation with a friend of mine, who works with dogs and knows what she's talking about. Just like the pet food man, she cringed when I told her what Jack had been eating. She told me that Pro Plan isn't good by any means, but Dog Chow is even worse. "There's only one other brand that's worse than Dog Chow," she said. It's Beneful -- interesting! She too recommended Wellness, but she said that the reason Jack kept throwing up was that its protein was "human-grade" -- much more pure, very rich, something he's not used to. To get his system used to it, we just have to give him smaller doses throughout the day. But it will do wonders for him, she said, and she too believed he would finally stop chewing his poor ragged feet. But what to do with this giant bag of Pro Plan? "Give him half-and-half," she suggested, until we're done with the bag. Looks like that might take us into 2010 ...

Poor Jack -- he's been through so much lately. And then his ego took a major hit when my friend said, "Especially now, since he's a Senior, he should be careful with what he eats." My puppy is no longer. He's my sweet, lovable, cuddly ... Senior Citizen.