Bewildering Choices

As we now embark on the first day of the new semester, I am experiencing a bit of bewilderment. Aidan is in transitional kindergarten, which means he will forever be either the very youngest in his class or the very oldest, depending upon this single decision that is before us. While his education is considered "first-grade ready," he will either move on to first grade, and subsequently be the very youngest in his class, or we can choose to send him to a "regular" kindergarten class, where he will be one of the oldest. Clearly there are the good old standby pro's and con's to each scenario, and the many questions abound: will he be bored if he "repeats" kindergarten? He likes being one of the oldest, a natural leader. He's also a perfectionist -- will he get easily frustrated if he's the very youngest in a first grade class, seeing that he might not be able to "keep up" with some of the other older students? Would we be setting him up for failure? For success? How in the world are we supposed to even know?

Questions like these kill me, for not only are they crucial in the care and nurture of my son, but there are also no answers. There's no way of knowing, really, which path to choose. It's a shot in the proverbial dark. I don't like those kinds of shots.

But here's what adds to my predicament -- the seeming lack of help in making this decision. I had a lovely conversation yesterday with an admissions counselor for a school in which I would love to enroll my son next year. I was a graduate of this school, as were my parents. She was very informative and helpful in our conversation regarding the different classes, potential financial aid, programs in which we could get involved to help reduce cost, etc. My perplexity came from our discussion regarding the timeline of events for enrollment, which simply made no sense to me. Here's the basic idea of my crossroads:

- attend Open House the first week of February

- enroll child during that time (which begs the earlier question: in which class do I enroll him? Kindergarten again? First grade? Basically this: pick one, and then when he is assessed it will be determined which class is right for him.)

- Assessment: in the spring. After enrollment.

Ummmm ... hello?

- Financial aid applications: after enrollment.

Ummmm ... hello?

I don't get it. Perhaps I am simple-minded. This timeline makes no sense. Enroll first ... then figure out if you can afford it (and if not ...?) ... then assess to figure out which class he should attend?

I don't get it at all.

Here's my preference:
- Assess first. Why go through all the paperwork, time, and energy to enroll him in one class, only to find out months later that he might end up in another?

- Financial aid: see how much help we can get. We need help. Lots and lots of help. Again, this couples with the assessment. The difference between half-day kindergarten and first grade is ... well, doubled. So what if we enroll him for half-day kindergarten, get the financial aid we need for that, only to find out months later that he is actually ready for first grade. Then what? Or -- horrors -- what if we enroll him and find out we can't afford it at all? By then it will be early spring and we'll have to start all over again elsewhere, late ...

- He's assessed. We hypothetically receive a pot of gold. NOW enroll into the appropriate class.

Ah, a perfect world. I really am befuddled by this and I shake my head at what lies before me. I don't want guesswork. I don't want to shoot in the dark. I want to make an informed decision ... and with this set-up, that's the last thing I'll be making.

Why is parenting just so dang hard?

And this is just kindergarten. Break out my coffin now for when college rolls around ...