Catfights Start with Kittens

I was privy to my first cat-fight yesterday -- nursery school style. Yesterday afternoon, as Aidan and I were in the car, ready to head home after school, I heard a knock on my window. I turned to see another mom, holding the hand of her daughter who is in Aidan's class. I rolled the window down, suddenly letting in a steady stream of heated venting. "Wait'll you hear what just happened!" she said.

Ah, little girls.
Let's back up a bit.

The tale involves three of the five girls in the class (this is kindergarten, remember). All of the kids, obviously, started the year off with a clean slate, all strangers to one another, and of course there will be natural gravitations toward some kids or others, but overall usually at this age they're still free from cliques or shunnings or downright snobbery towards others. At least, that's what I assumed. I know Aidan, for one, plays with just about everyone in his class, mostly the boys, but he's open to girls as well. It's an open playing field. When I ask him who his friends are he names every single class member. And that's OK.

Perhaps it doesn't work quite this way with girls. Pretty early on in the year, the girly playing field started to narrow. The girl standing outside of my car window yesterday -- let's call her Laurie -- suddenly found herself on the fringe as two other girls -- we'll call them Barbie and Annie -- became thick as proverbial thieves. While that might not be so unusual, the chasm apparently started to deepen and it turned personal. At least, that's what Laurie's mom said.

Back before Christmas, one of the girls -- Barbie -- started getting very possessive of Annie, and in the process started a rather catty shunning process toward little Laurie. Laurie's a tough little nut, though, and wouldn't back down. She rather liked Annie, despite the hissing directed at her from Barbie, and she didn't want intimidation to get in the way of establishing a friendship with Annie. So shortly before the Christmas break, Laurie asked if Annie could come over for a play date. Annie heartily agreed, save for a critical caveat: "Barbie will be terribly jealous."

Sure enough, when school resumed, Barbie apparently had it in for Laurie. After hearing of this exclusive play date, Barbie marched right up to Laurie, stuck out her tongue, and said, "I have play dates all the time, and you are never coming to them." Whatever, Laurie said, brushing her off and relishing the fact that she had a great time with Annie. As the days passed the hostility and shunning continued, until finally Laurie had enough. She stuck out her tongue at Barbie, exasperated by the behavior.

As Aidan and I were walking out of the school yesterday, Barbie's mom had cornered Laurie's mom in the hallway, livid hostility now seeping into the adult arena. Barbie's mom demanded that Laurie's mom get a hold on her daughter because she's ill-behaved and a bully, for that tongue-exposure episode of the previous day had her dear Barbie in tears at the dinner table, as she recounted the tale of effrontery to her shocked mother. Tears, yes, tears! It has come to that.

Laurie's mom was hopping mad, having heard for several weeks what her daughter was going through in the old two-against-one tale. And now this ... "She's messing with the wrong person!" she exploded to me through my car window.

I was sincerely at a loss for words. At first I was rather dumbfounded that this was even going on. These kids are five years old! I recall these stories from my junior high days, not kindergarten. I quickly moved on from being dumbfounded to being grateful -- grateful that I have a boy who could care less about catty dramas, and grateful that this kind of soap opera is not on my current radar. I knew, though, that I had to be a good listener, and I'm good at that -- clearly this mom was beside herself and needed a window to knock on. I can't say that I welcomed the inclusion into this drama -- I don't know this other mom at all (nor her daughter, for that matter) other than a brief "hello" in passing. I had no idea how to answer her, or advise her, other than to suggest she tell the teacher so she'll be aware of what's transpiring in her classroom.

I'm amazed that this kind of stuff is already happening. Score another point for Total Depravity -- it's alive and well, blossoming nicely in our sweet little kittens. But even sweet little kittens can flash some pretty nasty claws. I wonder how this saga will unfold ... We missed today's episode unfortunately, as Aidan suddenly fell sick AGAIN (can you believe this??!!) with a sneaky spiking fever, so he's home with me. Tomorrow, though, is another day, and perhaps another unsheathing of tiny sharp claws ...

I'm thankful I have a boy ... and a dog.