Finally, some (small) answers

OK, so here we are -- it's Saturday, full-blown into Round 4 of Kid Sickness. After yesterday's episode of Aidan's freakishly spiking fever, registering a whopping "point-something" short of 106, followed by a horrific (for both him and myself) plunge into a bathtub of cool water, I had enough. I know kids get sick, but the frequency was wearing me out and there were no answers in sight. This morning I picked up the phone and made an appointment to (yet again) see the pediatrician.

I lucked out ... or I should say "providenced out," but it doesn't have that special ring ... for the doctor who walked in was none other than the man who started the practice. He's the guru, the Answer Guy, and he was a great listener. We tackled first the immediate problem -- possible strep throat (we'll find out for sure tomorrow) -- and then moved on to the bigger picture. He asked good questions -- "How has your son's health been up until all of this started happening?" -- and while his answer might sound like a cop out, I lapped it up like a thirsty dog:

"You're just paying your dues."

Aidan's led a pretty sheltered life, having never gone to daycare or started school at a young age. Basically his little body is just learning to grow up, and this kind of bombardment is pretty natural. He's not allergic (well, maybe he has seasonal issues but that's officially unrelated), so this is just a door through which we walk, as my little boy continues to grow up. I was more than happy with that answer.

And my sweet little boy, ever-thoughtful, piped up, "Now the doctor can help you, Mommy." I laughed, yet the doctor said he could, so we talked a bit. I told him of my own issues, what secret subtle bug I've been battling, what my doctor said, the perfect-yet-unanswerable blood test results. His answer for me wasn't much different than what he doled out for my son:

"You're paying your dues too."

Seems as if Aidan and I have been swapping more than loving hugs and kisses over these past few months. While clearly I have a "grown up" system, I too was not used to this kind of bombardment. I wasn't used to someone bringing home every Tom, Dick, and Harry-Germ from a classroom petrie dish. And coupled with that, I'm a Mom, pure and simple. I care for my kids, I care for my husband, I care for my dog, I care for my household ... and if I have a little sump'in-sump'in left over for myself, I might entertain a little personal care. I'm run down, I'm a welcome mat for more than the crafts and letter-of-the-day work my son brings home. It's OK. It is what it is.

So that's the scoop. I feel relieved -- I have some answers. Now it's just a matter of perseverance. That we can do.

So tonight I relax. Don cooked dinner and I plan on visiting Hawaii as soon as I publish this post. After the kids go to bed, we're going to hunker down, watch a movie, and eat warm freshly baked apple crisp.

That's what I can self-care. I'm all for it ... until the next round.