Laugh Lines for the Week 4

- I knew this day was bound to come sooner or later. After their baths (taken together), we were in the kids' room getting them ready for bed. I was putting on Grace's diaper when Aidan suddenly asked me, "Mommy, why doesn't Grace have a penis?" Oh no! Not yet! Not these kinds of questions! I was not ready for this at all, so of course my brain shut down. My answer?

"Because she doesn't."

Oh, how LAME! How infernally lame! I held my breath, hoping that ridiculous come-back would suffice. Of course, it didn't.

"But why?"
My next lame response ...
"Because that's how God made her. Boys and girls are different."

Thankfully that one worked. Anytime you say "God did it" you can't really argue with that. At least not at age 4. I seriously have to start working on my answers ...

- In the car on the way to school, I spoke to Aidan about some important safety topics, such as the need to come indoors if you see lightening (and not to stand under a tree), we're working on memorizing our phone number and address, don't talk to strangers, etc. Aidan decided he needed to step in:
"Mommy, I have something for you. If you see a giant log rolling toward you, you had better run into the house." Pause. "Now that is a very important safety tip. Don't forget it!"

- Sunday: Aidan got dressed for church and looked great. I said, "Boy, Aidan, you sure look handsome today." His reply, with little hands on his hips: "Yeah, and I look super cool too!"

- Sunday again: We had a few cold, yucky, rainy days in a row and we were itching for some sunshine. That day especially -- our pastor and his family are coming over for dinner that afternoon, and we had originally planned a picnic, taking it all outdoors (a far bigger space than indoors). However, it was raining, which means everyone would be indoors: four adults, four children, and a dog. It would be cramped, to say the least. Aidan so badly wanted to be able to play outside with Caleb (and I so badly wanted that as well!), so I said to him, "Why don't you pray about it? Ask God if He would be willing to make the rain stop today." So he folded his little hands and closed his eyes and prayed so earnestly as only a little boy can, pleading with God to make the rain stop so he could play outside. Sure enough ... about an hour later the sun came out! Aidan was flabbergasted. I said, "Hey, Aidan, look at that! God answered your prayer! How cool is that?" I suggested he pray again, this time thanking God for answering his prayer, and he did. After his prayer, with a huge smile on his face, he said in awe, "Mommy! I just said my first magical prayer!" Hmmmm ... next time we'll work on a little theology.

- Don was using the bathroom and suddenly Aidan burst in, dropped his pants, stood proudly next to his father and aimed away. He then proclaimed with gusto, "Look, Daddy, we're making a big X!" Considering the fact that his 4-year old bladder is considerably smaller, he was happy to announce that he then won the "pee race."

- I am laughing about this one: not too long ago I posted an entry about the insane number of audio/visual gadgets and equipment that we have in our home (due to my marriage to an audiophile). Well, folks, we have replaced one item -- a TV -- with another item -- a bigger TV! A perk from Don's job -- his customer was getting a plasma-monster, so he asked Don if he was interested in his "cast-off." Don, with trash-picking genius in his blood, of course took him up on the offer, so now here it sits, some kind of huge monument in our tiny living room. It's insanely big -- not the biggest thing on the planet, of course, but bordering on being too big for our space. The kids love it (all three of them) -- "Dragon Tales" can now be viewed larger-than-life in our household, and all is well.